Depleted Fathers outfit take it to the wire

Associated Press – Thursday 9 August 2007

Last night a depleted Founding Fathers outfit pulled off what many are calling the ‘game of their lives’. With only six Fathers able to take the field Conga, Gladdy, Itchy, Hugo, Gilly and Chocco were always going to be up against it versus the fourth placed ‘Dodgy Wicket’ (DW).

Despite never having beaten DW the Fathers took to their monumental task with great aplomb. Sent in to bat by a sympathetic DW Captain (Hugo had not yet arrived………FINE) Chocco (24) and Gilly (33) blazed away at the hapless opening bowlers and posted a brilliant 57. Highlights of their innings included Chocco being BOWLED off a double hop ball (FINE).

Next in were Gladdy (30) and Itchy (6). Gutsy batting typified their innings and they trooped off with a respectable 36. Gladdy was solid as always and Itchy had a mini heart attack half-way through but managed to regroup. Conga (26) and Hugo (23) soon followed and so too did the runs with the boys trooping off after smashing an entertaining 49. Conga got cranky and opened up the shoulders which warmed Itchy’s heart in particular.

The last pair were up. DW were undecided, who to choose? Thinking they were terribly clever they chose Itchy and Gladdy to have another dig. DW’s ace in the hole was that they had saved their two best bowlers for last, would it work? Sadly it didn’t. Frustrating the shit out of their two best bowlers and smashing the rabbits was the order of the day and Itchy (22) and Gladdy (6) trooped off with a respectable 28.

The change brought out DW’s openers. They never got a start under a sustained Fathers bowling barrage and were skittled for 10. The Fathers were looking good. The next pair tried to get going and looked to steady the rocky DW ship. Despite their best efforts further bowling brilliance held them to a measly 23.

After two pairs DW were on the rocks with 33 playing 93, the Fathers had a 60 run lead but remained focused. The third pair batted doggedly but lost wickets at crucial times thanks to brilliant bowling and could manage only 21.

The last DW pair strolled on to the NICC ‘Four n Twenty’ paddock looking confident, but why? They needed 116 runs from four overs to win, 29 runs an over to be exact, 3.62 per ball! Itchy was heard to mutter to Chocco, “we’ll have to try pretty hard to lose from here…”. The DW lads liked the cut of Chocco and Gilly’s jib so they requested they have two overs each in the final four.

To put it politely DW went MENTAL with the bat. Poor Chocco and Gilly got smacked in the first three overs of the final four. Hugo and Conga who were fielding on the back net got peppered with a succession of exocet missiles. The Fathers came under heavy fire and took casualties. When the smoke cleared DW had, incredibly, posted 97 runs from just 3 overs.

The Fathers were shaken, the Fathers were rocked, the Fathers were injured, but crucially and in a display of TICKER that will long live in the memory of those present for this momentous game the Fathers were not, and would not, be BOWED.

DW needed just 20 to win the match and seal an historic victory. DW looked confident and had every right to be, after all, this pair had averaged 32.33 per over for the previous three overs.

But they hadn’t taken into account the ‘Gilly factor’. Gilly picked up the ball, he looked poised, he looked confident. Sensing this the Fathers got on their toes and readied themselves for something just a little ‘special’.

What followed was nothing short of remarkable. In a display of cunning, guile and outright trickery that will be talked about for generations Gilly and the remaining FIVE fielding Fathers got inside the heads of the DW firebrand batsmen. Brilliant bowling combined with lightning reflexes in the field for the first delivery eroded their confidence. From this point on DW didn’t stand a chance. The Fathers were whooping, the fathers were jiggling, the Fathers were all over the field like Joe Hockey on a sausage roll and Gilly was tweaking the ball with a confidence rarely seen since Warnie hung up the jock strap. In the end DW could manage only 16 runs from the final over.

The Fathers had won! The six Fathers who took the field left as true heroes of the game. The question now is, with the finals in sight what could an eight man Fathers team be capable of? Stay tuned.

Man of the match: Gilly – best batting with 33 runs, 'best' bowling with 4 for 46 and brilliant at the death. On ya Gilly!

Honorable mention: Inzy - on the injured list but came out of his way to drop by and visit the depleted fathers.

Note to the stats nerds: their last innings is recorded as only 99 and not 113 because the scoreboard (pictured) can't go that high....

Next weeks match – Wednesday 15 August - Fathers vs. Howezat – 8.10pm

In the 8

1 Kev
2 Nads
3 Gladdy
4 Chocco
5 Gilly - beer boy
6 Itchy
7 Hugo - Captain
8 Norris

Rotation policy
9 Conga (laurel resting)
10 Mash (chillin')
11 Snorky (in Thailand 'finding himself')

Injured or malingering - take your pick
Gristle (pre-season training camp)
Inzy (cartilage)
Our Kylie (Tuft luck)