Far be it to be compared with fiction, once upon a time in a far off galaxy called The NICC, The Founding Fathers found foe in the fabled fearsome and formidable adversary known as the NFI.
An unassuming yet strikingly fearsome figure, Choco was decreed to be Captain of the Founding Fathers. Choco had not held such office beyond that of a warrior - ever.
The first encounter was to be bloody and wretched. Captain Choco mindful of his encumbrance though overtaken by his thirst for blood vacillated over whether to bat in life defence or to bowl at the soon to be bloodless flesh. Choco’s warriors were no strangers to battle. They were feared amongst many. They were finely fit and muscle stretched within their embattled skins. Akin to pack wolves they bayed for blood and vexatiously perused their prey. There would be only one survivor. Choco could only think victory and victory it would be.
The Founding Fathers would Bowl. Whilst formidable too, NFI were quiet. Fear overcame the NFI contingent. The NFI retreated to cast their battle plans and to send in to battle, their lead warriors.
The extreme bowling & fielding capabilities of the Fathers boiled. Fear enveloped the air. NFI though fearful were to feel the immense pressure. Choco smirked almost in acknowledgement of the valiant strains of the NFI, knowing full well, their blood would spill.
3 warriors from the ‘ring-in’ tribe appeared for battle. In gracious acknowledgement, Choco greeted each though expressionless he remained. Another fearsome figure known as Mick appeared from within the mist. Choco knew of the one they called Mick. Mick would be a Father. Mick would now battle frequently. In acknowledgement of this bloody Wednesday night’s performance he would be sworn in as a FFFF [fully fledged Founding Father]
The 3 Ring in warriors were an unknown quantity. Choco had seen little spilt blood of the Fathers and nothing in his mind would change this. Not knowing of the ring-ins skills, Choco was to blood the young warriors & decreed Ben to open the bowling. The opposition were aggressive & were going the whack. Ben started with 0/14, with Norris to follow 2nd up with a steady 1/12. Itchy & Giles (ring-in warrior) further steadied the ship with 1/9 & 1/5 respectively. Choco though motionless and unanimated was pleased.
Choco steadfastly maintained the pressure on the batsmen, Itchy without fear strolled in for his 2nd over with 0/18 with Ed, the umpire; not appreciating Itchy ‘bowling to his field’; Ed called a couple leg side wides. Choco was displeased and his air of nonchalance tripped to one of bridled aggression. Ed was spared. Choco forced through his warriors to take ball. Never quite sure what he might deliver, he thought it might be best to get rid of an over early. True to form, a couple a 2’s amongst a couple of dot balls, a 7 and a wicket (1/9). Chris (ring-in warrior) was then asked to bowl the 7th over. An impressive display of accurate bowling, 2x1 runs, 2 dot balls & 2 wickets for a total of 2/-5. Choco was pleased.
The next major event in this battle could only be described as Choco’s master stroke in his short yet significant career as Captain. Mick was called up to bowl that last over to the 2nd batsmen. The batsmen were clearly starting to crumble under the relentless attack exerted by the Fathers who were now at the top of their game. Mick’s over was devastating. A ball-by-ball account - Wicket, 2, 2, 2, Wicket, Wicket, Wicket, Wicket. A double hat-trick and a ‘Michelle’ in the one over. Clearly a master stroke by the Captain…. and Mick. The captain and Mick wiped away the blood of the victims and exchanged short glances. A short nod was reciprocated. The opposition though were far from conquered and were living up to their reputation - NFI. They clearly had NFI when Mick bowled. The second batting pair made 3 runs. The FF sensed victory at the half way mark. There was more blood to spill.
Gilly was then called upon to maintain the pressure. He delivered the goods with stirling bowling. 4 dots balls. 0/7! Choco was next. “Just hit the pitch – Just the pitch” resounded in Choco’s mind. “No wides” - Don’t be smashed around”. Choco’s mind recoiled. Another steady 0/8. Norris & Chris were then called upon to slaughter the now weakening foe. True to past battles, they did. Each returned figures of 2/1. Overall Norris returned sublime figures of 3/13 & Chris with 4/-4. 3rd pair 17 runs.
The 4th pair strode to the pitch looking awkwardly confident. Choco smiled into space. Choco sensed a befallen prey though remained focussed. Gilly proved that confidence does not necessarily produce runs. Gilly 4/-11. Hat-trick. Overall 4/-4. A fine display from a fully fledged warrior. Mick was now called up for his 2nd over. He was sitting on a triple hat-trick.(it could have been a HUGE fine if he failed to take it). 1st ball wicket. Mick, the master bowler. 5 wickets in a row. Another fine display of pressure bowling. The foes were falling yet remained tempered. This one has been referred to the Official Stats-man. Mick was on a quadruple hat-trick & failed to come through with the goods. Fine or not to fine? Choco was displeased.
Ben & Giles bowled the last 2 overs for 1/9 & 0/12 respectively. NFI total 71 runs. Choco departed his station, hands behind back, contemplated - and quickly returned. Choco drew his scabbard, ran a light finger across the blade and returned the weapon to its home. The scabbard was sharp and effective.
BEN & Giles sent into bat with confidence sky high. The young warriors were intent on scoring the 72 runs by themselves. The warriors made 34 runs, having gone out 5 times. What could have been a top score; the FF still required 38 runs to win. Choco was pleased though the battle was far from over.
Gilly & Itchy were to bat 2nd. The other warriors were hesitant though trusted their leaders’ judgement. The combination teamed together like they’d been in battle together for years. NFI’s total was surpassed mid way through the 7th over. Gilly & Itchy blitzed with a match high 49 runs, with Gilly scoring Best Batter award for his impressive 26 runs.
Norris & Chris batted 3rd for a steady 31 runs. Norris’ beautiful display of control & grace realised 21 runs. Norris’ scabbard too was sharp. The FF were now 43 runs ahead. Choco was pleased.
It was now safe to send in Choco & Mick to bat. A steady 24 runs were made for a total of 138.
A victory to the ‘Fathers” by 67 runs & 3 skins.
NFI were decimated, the pitch was no longer green. The pitch was a sea of blood red. The Fathers had yet again spilled the blood of the enemy.
The Father wolves retreated. Night fell.
Choco gathered his men. Though weary they talked and drank for hours. They talked of
- Itchy’s inability to open a stubby by himself. It must have something to do with “moisturising” his hands whilst reading a book of battle on the battle pitch.
- Confirmation of Norris dropping the ‘SITTER of the match’. And what a sitter it was.
- Mick’s magical bowling effort.
- Possible new warrior name for ‘Gristle’ – Tom Petrovski. Media finance guru.
- Norris’ new ‘fu#*ing huge’ LCD TV. Also, how to blow up your old TV without your wife knowing you ‘tinkered with it’ so you can buy a new TV.
- Hugo, where’s our shirts?
- Choco was fined for batting last when he is Beer Man.
The Fathers retreated with pulchritude.
To his men in parting, Choco murmured – “more blood will spill – go forth, rest and prepare for the blood that will spill shall not be ours nor that of our sons.
Word of the day, a word that can be used to clearly describe the Founding Fathers
pulchritude \PUL-kruh-tood; -tyood\, noun:
That quality of appearance which pleases the eye; beauty; comeliness; grace; loveliness.
