Fathers snatch victory in 400 run thriller#

What a difference a week can make.

With the specter of Norris taunting their lack of victories in his absence the boys took to the field at the ‘creek’ last night full of resolve and determined to put right the wrongs of the past fortnight. The Fathers were up against it from the off with the late withdrawal of ‘Our Kylie’ and the second week no show of ‘Kermie’*.

The Fathers opposition were a wily crew who won the toss and elected to throw the bat around first. They showed they meant business from the off with a solid first over producing ten runs. The Fathers realized they were up against it and gave it their all. Unfortunately the six man Fathers outfit with Matt the ringer couldn’t contain the skilled batsmen of McSnafu who flashed the willow time and again and finished with a massive 199 runs amassed. Standout bowlers were hard to find however special mention needs to go to Gilly, Roscoe and Hugo for keeping the carnage down a bit. Itchy was his usual mercurial self in the field and broke the stumps and effected amazing run outs and catches time and again^.

Nads, in his capacity as captain, threw caution to the wind and put Gladdy and Itchy together as the opening pair. After a shaky start the boys took apart the McSnafu bowling attack. A couple of dubious run out decisions had Itchy climbing the ladder into the umpire gantry to express his disapproval. Once security personnel restored order to proceedings the game continued and Itchy and Gladdy poured on a 58 run stand. Having softened up the opposition with a display of power hitting, both of the ball and of opposition players, Itchy and Gladdy trooped off pleased with their evenings work.

Next in were Roscoe and Hugo. Cover drives, slogs and teasing cut shots were just a few of the masterful strokes they produced during their superb innings of 63. Roscoe played so well in fact he pulled a Chocco and did something nasty to his calf. Fortunately for him he has 20 days to recover until he next needs to don the tie dye. Other highlights of their innings together included Hugo nearly clearing up the bowler and one of the fielders by following through a little to heartily on his running between the wickets and Roscoe actually breaking the wickets in half at the other end with a powerful straight drive.

With two pairs down the Fathers were looking the money with 121 runs accumulated. Up stepped the ringer Matty and Gilly to have a crack. Despite having assured us he could ‘hold his own in A-grade’ Matty looked hopelessly lost against the McSnafu attack and despite the best efforts of Gilly the pair started to go backwards. A couple of early dismissals coupled with Matty’s reluctance to run soon saw the proud pair languishing on 3 runs after 3 overs. Gilly fought hard in the fourth and final over but the die had been cast. Disconsolately the pair trooped off with only 13 runs to their names.

The Fathers were now chasing down 199 and with four overs remaining they required 66 runs for victory. The smug McSnafu’s thought it would be funny to make Gilly bat again. His partner was the inscrutable Nads. Under Nads’ steady gaze Gilly was reborn. The middle of his bat clouted the hapless McSnafu bowlers to all four corners of the ground. When Nads got a chance at bat he too picked up the intensity and pretty soon all fielders were holed up as far as legally possible away from the batsmen. For reasons of safety the McSnafu team captain sniveled to the umpire that he’d like to have all of his fielders stay behind the wicketkeeper. The umpire laughed off this request and the Fathers cheered as Nads and Gilly continued to smash the ball at the McSnafu fieldsmen. The first aid tent did a roaring trade in ice packs and compression bandages and by the time the final over came the Fathers were only 15 runs off victory.

McSnafu had held their best bowler back till last, a wily and feisty off spinner who could turn it a mile. But Gilly and Nads were having none of it and charged down the pitch numerous times dispensing their own brand of summary justice. With the sounds of McSnivel weeping and whining in their ears the boys finished up with19 runs in the last over. The Fathers had posted yet another famous victory and finished on 204!!

Post match beers were a revelation. Hugo was good to his word and the Czech and Belgium brews flowed until late into the night. The Fathers present were full of Christmas cheer and the flush of victory. Could it have been any better you ask?

Perhaps……

Best wishes of the season to all the Fathers and their families. Stay safe and see you all in 2008!

#not strictly true - all references including scores and individual performances in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a means by which to fool Norris into thinking we can win without him.

*The disciplinary committee has been informed of these most recent transgressions and Santa may not be visiting either player for some time. Both players have been issued with show cause writs.

^also largely inaccurate