INSIDE SPORT: Snorky's imminent return to FFCC plagued by self doubt shock!!

SCOOP: Hugo's secret South American mission revealed!

Those fans and fellow FFCC squad members who believed Hugo's story about heading to South America for his brother's wedding will be shocked to discover the REAL reason behind his current visit.

Undisclosed sources have supplied the FFCC blog with the following secret document which outlines the true nature of Hugo's mission. It is understood Hugo is delivering this important message on behalf of a FFCC squad member to the people of Argentina.

Choco out - attending obedience assessment

W.Creek Hype, March 2008

Today's big story down at "The Creek" is the controversial decision by the FFCC Board to suspend Choco for one week for an Obedience Assessment. In an unprecedented move, the FFCC Board did not take the decision lightly. FFCC Chair Nads greeted reporters after the meeting adjourned: "The Board has determined Choco's attendance of late has brought the indoor version of the game into disrepute and is a slur on the name of the Founding Fathers. We are saddened that a man with such a gift, at the peak of his career, has chosen the path of the neerdowell. We hope that Choco pulls through at the Obedience Assessment and straightens out his priorities - we'd like to see him back in full flight as soon as possible." When asked if Nads would be washing his box in preparation of the Finals Series he declined to comment.

The good news is that Cheezy comes off the bench to fill the void created by Choco's suspension. In two matches Cheezy is averaging 22 with the bat and has top run scorers like Norris and Itchy searching for an extra 5%. Kermie is also back in this week to give the Fathers extra wicket taking potential with his orthodox left hand wrist spin (did I get that right?) and is touted to partner The Cheezemeister in opening the Fathers account next week.

Late withdrawals threaten to derail a red hot FFCC squad

FINE CREDITS to Harmie, Cheezy and Norris who were all late ring-ins for KEVIN!, Our Kylie, Kermie and Madman. "The depth in the squad is second to none" said Captain Norris after the Fathers comprehensively thrashed McSnafu for only the second time this season. "After Kermie withdrew, I knew this was my opportunity to step up and lead the Fathers into the Finals; I probably wouldn't get a spot in the 8 otherwise." With only two games remaining in the season, the Fathers have the momentum leading into the big end of the season. Norris added: "And it will help having The Snorkmeister back in the squad for the finals - he's managed to play the minimum five games despite living in Spain and having never played a match at the WICC - he's our Big Game Performer".

But last night there were Tie Dyed Big Game Performers everywhere you looked. The Fathers lost the toss and fielded surrendering 146 runs. Wickets were hard to find and there were many missed run out opportunities. At the interchange Norris searched for the manifesto and there was none. In quiet desperation he hatched a plan that McSnafu would later curse as the one of the significant turning points of the game. Cheezy and Gladdy chased down the skin with a solid opening partnership of 44 runs. Norris opted to split the big bats of Nads and Harmie and looked to Gilly, who is in the form of his life, to add tranquility to a partnership with Nads. 64 runs later, the second skin was safe, Nads and Gilly had swung the match irreversibly and the Fathers reached the midway point on 108 needing only 39 for victory. The boundaries continued to flow with Harmie and Itchy in the premiership partnership and skin number 3 was secured with a posting of another 54 runs. With the match stitched up, Norris and Cheezy opened up the shoulders chasing 61 for the final skin. Early intent was signalled with two fours, a seven and a three hit in the first over. But a couple of early wickets fell and then a couple more and on it went. It was nevertheless entertaining and Gilly enjoyed dressing down the Captain with a quiet beer upstairs after the match.

Carpark
There was no carpark. It was raining. There was no beer. Team FINE!

Man of the Match is a tough call this week between batsmen and bowlers but it has to go to Nads for his 41 with the bat and match high +35 contribution:

Batsmen:
Nads 41 NOT OUT
Harmie 31 runs for the loss of only the one wicket
Gilly 25 runs for the loss of only one wicket
Itchy 23 runs NOT OUT
Gladdy 23 runs NOT OUT
Cheezy 21 runs for the loss of only one wicket
Norris 13 runs for the loss of only four wickets
Bowlers:
Gilly 4 for -1
Nads 3 for 6
Harmy 2 for 12
Gladdy 1 for 15
Norris 1 for 23
Cheezy 0 for 22
Itchy 0 for 34


Sitter of the Match
I can only recall a certain run out at the non strikers end where Nads attempted to deflect the ball off his neck into the stumps but missed - FINE!



Fundraiser
Next week is another fundraiser. Bring money.



Next Match - 8:10pm Tuesday

In the 8:
1. Norris - Captain
2. Madman - beer boy
3. Andy
4. Gilly
5. Gladdy
6. Itchy
7. Kermie
8. Choco

On standby
Cheezy
KEVIN!
Harmie

OUT
Nads
Hugo
Inzy
Our Kylie
Snork

Itchy is bringing out the Australian version....

Mind you after he was bowled out THREE times this week Itchy might ask Kylie to guest star also.... ;-)

Founding Fathers step it up a notch

ROUTERS, W. CREEK

With Finals Season looming, the Founding Fathers sent a clear message by stepping it up a notch last night at the WICC. In an unusual break from their traditional "shock and awe" approach, the Founding Fathers toyed with the Happy Salmons in a seesawing marathon inevitably crushing any hope of an upset with a sudden, cracking SEVEN! at the eleventh hour, and all light faded as the din of the WICC settled to a faint, distant murmur.

Captain Kermie was pleased. "I reckon we did the right things right and left the wrong things for the other wrong blokes except for a few wrong things that didn't go right - but we're definitely in good shape for the finals." When asked about his tenure as Captain of a seemingly invincible Founding Fathers squad Kermie could only complement his colleagues: "This week I hardly had to pull The Captain's Manifesto out of my pocket, it was like we were all singing from the same Bon Jovi songsheet".

After the traditional pre-match settler in the bushland setting, the Fathers Won the Toss and decided to serve it up cold to the Happy Salmons. Itchy started the seesawing affair and set the tone for the mind games with a mixture of pacy short and full pitched deliveries varying unpredictably in line. Gladdy continued the theme and after two overs the Fathers were wicketless and debutant Cheezy was looking around wondering just what on earth he had gotten himself involved in. Our Kylie was handed the ball and sparkled with two deceiving dot balls first up, and then the wickets started to tumble as the pendulum swung. Nads cleaned up the partnership and three wickets had fallen in five deliveries. But the seesawing games had only just begun.

Norris opened the door for the second partnership after a wicketless first over but after Kermie, Cheezy and Harmy finished them off for only one additional run. Cheezy decided after his first four deliveries in the baggy tie die that it was time to swing the pendulum yet again taking his first wicket by creating a brilliant run out opportunity finishing 2 for -1 in his debutant over. Harmie upped the ante finishing them off with 2 for -2 including yet another "first ball" wicket.

Sensing weakness, Itchy, Kylie, Nads and Kermie took a steady stream of wickets holding the premiership partnership to a mere 7. But the pendulum had life in it yet. The final first innings partnership put on 41 and the Happy Salmons were thinking they had gotten themselves out of jail and had their tails in the air with jeers of "triple figures! - yaaaaaaa!" Duuuhhhhhhh. The ever gritty and determined Fathers remained resolute and retired to the tea break for a pleasant ale.

Captain Kermie searched the manifesto and liked what he saw. It had been written and it would be so. The 101 run chase began with Kermie and Gladdy putting on 45 in the first three overs and it was looking like it was done and dusted. Had the swing of the pendulum succumbed to friction? Had the laws of the universe been somehow corrupted by the forces at play in the WICC? Two run outs later and it was match on and the Happy Salmons were thinking anything could happen.

Harmie and Nads stepped to the crease and it all seemed to unravel; after two overs they were -2 chasing 19 for the skin. The Fathers sat sipping their ales in anticipation. And the pendulum began to swing again. When the "steady the ship" partnership dust settled the skin was safe and the Fathers needed only 40 for victory. But all bystanders at the WICC looked on with a special interest knowing that there was something more to come in the uncanny "too-ing and fro-ing" character of the match. The Fathers drained their ales.

Debutant Cheezy and one of the living legends in Founding Fathers Folklore: Our Kylie, strode onto the pitch in an air not dissimilar in confidence to the strut of a cat-walk supermodel. It was all too sexy and commenced with brimming confidence. After the first over 16 runs had been added and the Fathers were back in control. And then the pendulum... Poor little Our Kylie was OUT BOWLED three times in the next over (that's a FINE!) and the fingernails returned to the mouths of Itchy and Norris who had been tasked with bringing the Fathers home in the "open the shoulders" partnership. Cheezy and Kylie recovered with Cheezy on 20 runs (NOT OUT!). Cheezy warmed to the task and finally struck a boundary from the third last ball of the partnership. (He's ahead of you on boundaries Hugo!) There would be much hazing in the carpark later that evening.

In the final partnership Norris took the stike urging composure and conservatism in a futile effort to reign in his enigmatic partner. Norris scrambled through with a 1 off the first delivery in a close run out chance at the non-strikers end. Itchy looked confident slashing at and missing the next delivery and looked to the skies for tranquility. Out Caught off the next delivery and the Fathers score dropped to 99. The pendulum demonstrated it was cold and nondiscriminatory with its victims. Early in the second over Itchy smashed one straight down the pitch and Norris was caught out of his ground and the scores were level. The WICC went quiet. The Happy Salmons were already drinking from the cup of victory. The Fathers' esky was nearly empty.

As the end of the 14th over drew near, the scores almost level, Norris on strike, destiny loomed. The unsuspecting bowler served up a fullish delivery wide of the off stump and the Canook in Norris flashed back to his younger days as an ice hockey player, looking to slapshot the puck into the top corner of the net from his defensive position on the blue line. Time seemed to slow and Norris became connected to all forces in the WICC, including the forces of the pendulum, Norris could see the anticipation and hope in the bowlers eyes, he felt the gaze of the Founding Fathers as they looked on clutching their empty beer glasses, he could sense Itchy down the other end thinking "smash it Norro", and the planets aligned with the pendulum of Norry's bat as he smashed all hope of Happy Salmon victory straight into the back net for SEVEN!

From then on it was a steady flow of runs and the Fathers cantered home in a 29 run victory. It gets no better than this in indoor cricket.

The Carpark
The Fathers were thirsty after such a monumental victory that clinches a finals berth for the squad. There could be no Esky large enough, or full enough, to quench the thirst of the Founding Fathers after the indoor cricketing night of nights but just to be sure and extra slab will be on hand for all future 9:30pm fixtures.


The Sitter of the Match
Our Kylie - it was a beauty


The Man of the Match
Our Kylie - best bowling (3 for 1) and second highest run score (22) - best plus/mins +21. The man is a legend.


The Fundraiser
The Fathers are in arrears and require funds. Everyone bring money next week - the usual $100 or so.

In the 8 next week (9:30pm):
1. Kermie - Captain
2. Our Kylie
3. Gilly
4. Nads
5. Madman - beer boy
6. Gladdy
7. Itchy
8. KEVIN!

It's never in doubt.

There are others who can play so let me know if you can't.....

Available:
Cheezy
Andy
Harmie
Norris

Captain Kermie does his homework

Last weeks match was an absolute ripper - the FFCC six man squad served it cold and then burned it up chasing down the required 110 runs and then added another 110 in what was undoubtedly the finest EVER FFCC display of miserly fielding and "open the shoulders" batting.

Gladdy is currently scrutinising and analysing the match ball by ball (there were several "extras") and will be producing the "worm" in due course.

Memorable Moments

Fathers take the field:

After losing the toss Captain Kermie looked calm and collected despite Deano's Dropkicks getting away with 45 not out in the opening partnership. When the "match plan" bit of cardboard was produced from Kermie's pocket, Nads and Gladdy glanced "knowingly" at one another realising that the match outcome had been predetermined by providence. On the very next delivery, Harmie reset the baseline for destiny with a deceptive delivery, luring the batsman to drive into his partner on the full, the ball ricocheting into the air softly into Gladdy's safe hands. From there it was a steady stream of wickets culminating in a Team Triple Hat Trick from the last ball of Harmie's second over and the first four of Captain Kermie's second over. Right according to plan. The bowlers kept it tight and there were many chances that went down that would otherwise have found hands if not for the six man field. Harmie and Norris were picked to bowl the final four overs and each lifted to keep the total to a very chaseable 110.

The run chase:

Once again the "match plan" was produced and Kermie and Gladdy were dashing and blazing their way to the first of four skins. Nads and Harmie showed no mercy and overhauled the total with daring shots over the field and through the gaps down the ground. Gilly took the strike with Norris and notwithstanding an early mid pitch mix up, the veterans steadied were otherwise chanceless as they chased down the skin. Asked to bat again, Gilly and Norris had their eyes in and made the most of the "Open the Shoulders" partnership adding over a hundred runs to the total in two free-flowing partnerships.

The car park:

Providence had ensured the skies would be clear after good rain for the lads to quench their thirst - not a single boags premium light survived the evening. Kermie took out the man of the match not least for his interpretations of the hieroglyphs but for his steady bat and double hat trick (triple FINE for not taking the triple hat trick!). Harmie took out the sitter of the match award much to Nads' relief and joy. Kermie was relieved after the last soldier fell so that he could make his dash to beat the clock at the Macca's drive through.

Starting Line up for next week:

9:30 Match

Starting 8

1. Kermie - Captain
2. Gladdy
3. Nads
4. Harmie - beer boy
5. Our Kylie
6. Norris
7. Itchy
8. Up for Grabs!

The coveted number 8 spot is currently up for grabs, however, KEVIN! as the final approving authority, reserves the right to reject any nominations.

With a star-studded indoor cricket line-up, it is no wonder that Madman, Hugo, Inzy, Gristle, Choco and Snorkey are chomping at the bit! (Gilly is OUT next week.)

The world according to Norris

STATS FIASCO
What????? Take Extras out of the Stats??? Extras are how I score most of my runs???????
I'm not sure this "proposed" new STAT is true reflection of a batsman's contribution to the side.
It's possible to turn a wide or no-ball into a -5.
After all, I once smashed a NINE! (FINE!) off a single delivery bowled off the pitch. That was EXACTLY what you do with that little piece of bowling rubbish.
Would this new rule mean I'd only "niggled" or "nerdled" a SEVEN off a full pitched ball wide on the offside, having strode forward picking it up on the half volley at knee height, smacking it over the top of outstretched arms cannoning into the back net, cantering through - not earning the fully deserved credit of NINE for picking up the extra TWO when it was on offer? Has Gladdy gone COMPLETELY
INSANE????? (I'd rather not mention the one or two occasions I've been run out for -5 for what was almost possibly a 7!)

EARLY ENCAMPMENT WHISPERS IN CERTAIN CIRCLES OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS SENIOR LEADERSHIP GROUP
Despite a tradition of Encampment inflictions, Snorkmeister (head bite infection) Choco (lower back dirt bike incident) Our Kylie (lbw calf beach cricket incident) and Hugo (possible broken toe and serious pole dancing strain) are always a potential cameo. Nads and Itchy are chomping at the Encampment Bit and Norris and Gladdy are already working on the first "Unplugged Electrical" version of several new big hits like "Two More Double Ryes!" and "Burn it up and Serve it Cold!" and special new releases like "Stop Running me Out" and "SEVEN to WIN off the FINAL DELIVERY!" (sung by Nads and Itchy to the tune of THUNDERSTRUCK!) (played by Gladdy and Norris - backup vocals - The Founding Fathers) Gilly is already there! Encampment is closer than you think!

SNORKMEISTER RETURN FOR ENCAMPMENT?
Kermie is rumoured to be getting ready (for a good kip) not to mention Norris who needs a good encampment to basically not sleep at all.

SNORKMEISTER RETURN TO THE NETS?
In a cloud of mystery, it is only a matter of time before the Snorkmeister dons the baggy tie dye and smackes twenty runs and takes four for minus three earning yet another man of the match and then proceeds to give the Captains Dressing Down! in the carpark. Kermie is also keen..

SIDE NAMED FOR TUESDAY 11 MARCH - FOUNDING FATHERS 8:
1. Norris - beer boy
2. Kermie - Captain
3. Nads
4. Gladdy
5. Madman
6. Andy
7. Harmie
8, Sometimes Seven are better than Eight.

Gilly - doubtful
Hugo - serious Encampment, match winning bocce toe stubbing incident
Itchy - radio producing, screenplay writing
Choco - planets have to align
Kevin! - he's gotta be able to play a match soon!
Gristle - up for the challenge
Ross - is golf that important?
Freaky - would be handy
Inzy - ankle soreness?
Conga - we gotta get him back!


WHEN IS THE NEXT BYE?
Commoffit. Half the reason we play cricket is to go to the pub and drink a beer and watch the Cricket?
Founding Father Pub night is coming up and could actually involve a bit of frivolity and candour.





Other Links:
Check out this latest story about Canadian Cricket:

CANADIAN CRICKET TEAM LOOKS TO AUSTRALIA FOR HELP!
Canook Observer
It's no surprise that Canadian-born cricketers are smashing away in Australia. One young Canadian-born cricketer in Australia is earning a name for himself not only for his ability to "smash" boundaries but also to "pin" down batsmen and find the edge with good length deliveries. Graceful and effective in the field, this young Canadian/Australian cricketer doesn't waste any time between the wickets either. After top scoring with the bat at the encampment, Norris is tipped to become a highly sought after IPL commodity.

PS
Last week Norris smashed a "-1" and reckons consistency is better than the -28 by his partner. Norris bowled five leg break deliveries that were mostly wides (and chucked!) but also bowled five "dot" balls with medium pace - introduced the wrist action and a couple of em swung! Gilly missed a chance or two. As did everyone. Gilly pointed out that Norris had participated in the Fathers "WORST EVER" partnership. Another STAT that might not make it into the record book. After all, we are talking about Norris - one of the many legends in Founding Fathers Folklore!