Editor: below at long last is Gilly's long anticipated match report! (posted Friday 13 June). Father’s go down in lacklustre display
I’ve been trying to forget!! I’ve tried my best to avoid committing this farce to writing. BUT, of course the OVERACHIEVING Nads has shamed me. He has already penned NEXT WEEK’S match report [well it would have been next week if ….. well, you get the picture!!!].
Now next week’s report has brought the whole nightmare of this week’s match back into focus. Damn you Nads! Damn you Nads!!!!!!!!!! Could the two matches be more sharply contrasted??? (Could the same accusation be levelled at the two match reports)??? [Ball-tearer report by the way Nads]
This week’s report should say:
“The Fathers turned up at 18:00 to play against a pack of no-names of dubious quality. Well six of us did. Hugo and Gristle missed the toss. FINE! FINE! [Gristle, if only you knew how close (I’d call it a fly’s patooter) you were to missing your comeback game. Norris, claiming points in the Michael Stinziani quiet achiever award by turning up as a spectator, FINE CREDIT!, was fired up and ready to take your place!!]
What happened next was JUST SH1T!!!! We played like GRANDfathers, not Fathers, in losing 149-126.
I almost choked on my own words to the opposition at the end of the game as I apologised for not even making the game interesting. I hate losing!!!
That’s all the performance deserved.
END OF REPORT”
…………….. But then I thought about it a bit more (oh the HORROR, the HORROR!). Some things do deserve mention.
There wasn’t a happy face was to be seen among the nine (yep, Norris was still hangin’ ‘round) as we undertook the match post mortem. Even the beers didn’t help. How was it possible to take three skins AND STILL LOSE COMFORTABLY?
Oh that’s right, Billy (4) and Itchy (8) batting third struggled to put 12 runs on the board chasing the opposition pair’s 60. Poor Billy struggled to get bat on ball, while Itchy was swinging like a dunny door in a force 10 gale
But they had plenty of help. We only managed to take 12 wickets for the entire game. (Hugo 3 for 1, Gristle 2 for 7 clearly the best). Dishonourable mentions to Itchy (none for 36) and Gilly (1 for 38).
Did I mention that we were SH1T???
A few (rare) highlights:
Gristle, (welcome back), marked his long awaited return with a very poised top score (27) with the bat. Cheezey, ably assisted him to amass 53 for the final wicket. For the mathematically challenged, Cheezey scored 26. [Don’t get excited though, the game was well gone by that stage. They batted without pressure. Am I sounding bitter and twisted - Gilly].
I predict Gristle to have a stormer next week.
Cheezey also set the tone for the night dropping 2 catches in the first over and cemented his hatrick of “sitters of the week”. FINE! FINE! FINE!
Snork (17) and Gladdy (9) in the first batting pair. Christ!!! “I’m not batting with you again”. “No, I’m not batting with you again”. When are you two going to get divorced. You sounded like an old married couple. [Is there something that we should know??]
Gladdy – repeat after me – “Side nets. Side nets. I must not try to hit 7s.”
For those that way inclined, the rest of the stats were:
2nd batting pair Gilly (15) Hugo (17).
Bowling:
Cheezey 2 for 14
Snork 2 for 11
Gladdy 1 for 18
Billy 1 for 24
Oh, did I mention that we were SH1T???
………… AND THE SELECTOR’S AXE FELL (was Choco pleased??)
After last nights DEBACLE the selectors have been justifiably brutal.
Rd 4 - NEXT WEEK 7:20pm
1. Nads - CAPTAIN
2. Gristle
3. Gladdy
4. Kermie
5. Harmie
6. Choco
7. Madman - beer boy
8. Billy
With only two matches to go to Encampment the entire list will get a crack.
Let me know as soon as possible if you can't play next week because Hugo, Cheezy, Gilly and The Snorkmeister are all match fit, on fire and raring to go.
Then get ready for an HISTORIC EVENING the following week.
Rd 5 - 17 June Pre-Encampment match - 7:20pm
Norris - Beer Boy 1
Nads
Kermie
Gilly - Beer Boy 2
Snorkey
Hugo
Cheezy
Harmie
Followed by.....
PRE-ENCAMPMENT BLOCKBUSTER!!!
17 June - 8:40pm
All Founding Fathers Affair - Julios take on Nerds for Encampment Bragging Rights.
Julios: (Tie Dyed)
Snorkey - Captain
Norris
Kermie
Hugoss
Itchy
Harmie
Billy the Kid
KEVIN!
Nerds: (Baggy Black)
Nads - Captain
Gilly
Cheezy
Gristle
Choco
Madman
Our Kylie
Gladdy
Stats Man: Inzy
Match Rules:
Loss of Wicket - FINE!
Dropped Catch - FINE!
Missed Stumping - FINE!
Wide or No ball - FINE!
Sitter of the match (each team) FINE!
Partnership Loses the Skin - FINE!
Losing Team - FINE!
Plus/Minus in the negatives - FINE!
Captain's Dressing Down (each team) - FINE!
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