FFCC Christmas Twilight Bowls Extravaganza!

A good showing for the inaugural FFCC Christmas twilight bowls tournament.

The event held on Tuesday the 21st of December drew a huge crowd with eventual winners Itchy, Gladdy, Kylie and Sao soaking up the atmosphere.

The 'after party' was held at Itchy's place late into the night and involved some serious serenading ably led by Prez, Norris, Gladdy and Snork.

A good time was had by all, some pics are below (click on photos to view larger versions). Happy new year to all the FFCC crew!

FATHERS RIP IT UP! 165 - 97

Captain Nads won the toss twice (tossed twice?) and opted for scoreboard
pressure sending in Saint Choco and N-N-N-Norris to lay the foundation.
Choco (20) and Norris (25 not out) declared early intent.
Nads (31 not out) and Gilly (33) set the standard with a top scoring
partnership and the Fathers may well have opted for an early car park sesh
by declaring and sending the Warnies in with 109 on the board.
Billy (15) and SAO (not too bad - he got mandkatted without facing a ball
and lost concentration - filthy!) put on another 11 runs then Madman (top
score 35 not out) and Itchy (10) took the total to 165.

From there it was all bad news for the Warnies. They got off to a bit of
a start and picked up a skin but the FFCC cool headed crew capitalised
with a steady line, good length and just the right mix of wicket taking
shite.

Billy and Nads were standouts in the field.

The run chase went like this:
Madman 0 for 23
Norris 1 for 11
Billy 0 for 18
Nads 1 for 4

Itchy 1(jackpot!) for 3
SAO 0 for 17
Gilly 1 for 9
Choco 1 for 6

Billy 2 for -1
Norris 3 for 0
Choco 1 for 2
SAO 5 for -19

Madman 0 for 13
Itchy 1 for 5
Gilly 1 for 4
Nads 2 for -5

There was much rejoicing in the carpark where Beerboy Billy was pinged
with several fines for questionably less than 24 beers plus several
radlers (chick beers). Norris invoked Rule 16 and Gilly dubbed Billy the
Kid "Billy Jean the Kid" or "BJ the kid" or "BJ" for short. (Several
other "aliases" for various Fathers were noted also. (I'll let Itchy break
the news to The Snorkmeister!)) Billy was unimpressed but confessed his
kid-like status is in doubt having just notched up his 30th birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY!

Next Week 6:50 and Norris is IN!
And Gladdy???????

The beatification of a Saint

So that it is on record for eternity, the 5 Fathers that turned up last week, 9 November 2010, witnessed 2 miracles in a single evening by a single (once was) mortal.
Miracle 1:

See diagram below (click on image to view larger version):Miracle 2:
With Nads bowling and Choco on the back net, the ball is smacked back at Nads well above head height. Nads reaches up and with arm outstretched only manages to deflect the still hurtling ball even higher. The fathers let out a collective groan as another 7 is imminent. Upon turning around Nads realises that Choco has risen to another level - the FFCC are still perplexed as to how. He has parried the ball vertically upward. After gently brushing the top net the ball then falls gently down into Choco's featherlike fingers.
There can be only one explanation, we have witnessed a second miracle.

LONG LIVE SAINT CHOCO

Spot The Difference

Fathers win two run thriller!

Gilly (MVP) top scored with 28 (not out) and took a hat trick making it a hat trick of hat tricks in rounds two, three and four. Sheer brilliance. Legend.

Itchy factored into the run scoring with an equal top 28 (not out). Luck never entered into it and Itchy chopped wood like it’s never been chopped.

CAPTAIN NORRIS chipped in a positive contribution with 22 runs and 1 for 21. But Norris was not pleased. Especially after Gladdy and Madman conspired to let a dribbler through for five runs when the batsmen were all at sea off Norrisses bowling.

There were CAPTAIN’S FINES aplenty. MVP Gilly copped one for abandoning his post, preferring a position in the field and running a bit of a master class.

Madman earned a CAPTAINS FINE CREDIT for a few deliberate head high beamers in the first over, thus setting the tone for the match and earning his teary eyed Captain’s respect and admiration.

Billy the Kid took a tidy 3 for 10 taking a brilliant caught and bowled and earned a FINE for the NON-Hat Trick.

Itchy bowled an absolute PEARLER, a Yorker that was an away swinger to the right handed batsmen. Itchy had cajoled him into thinking it was going down leg side and didn’t really offer a shot. It swung in, barely clipped the back of the batsman’s leg and cannoned into leg stump. BOWLED AROUND HIS LEGS! With undeniable brilliance, the match was turned.

SAO copped a rather vocal Captain’s FINE when he reckoned aloud that with the run chase at 139, Norrisses Captaincy was at an end. Norris was not pleased. SAO responded by putting 6 runs on the board under extreme pressure batting with Itchy in a second skin winning partnership worth 34.

Choco had already done the damage with a 22 run stand in the opening partnership with Gilly and chased down the skin by a run.

Norris took strike in the premiership partnership and played a looping false stroke into the air in the midwicket region but the gap had been found and 4 runs were on the board. Norris ducked two pacey bouncers, only one of which was called a wide. Gladdy and Norris saw off the wayward pace men and were run out just the once taking the 139 run chase to 126. Gladdy valiantly charged down the pitch on the final delivery looking for a seven to take the skin but the edge was found and two was added to the total of 42.

Madman strode onto the court with Billy like it didn’t matter what the run chase was. It would be got. Madman took strike, a nervous single was taken, and it was MATCH ON! There was a run out in the first over but Madman calmly dictated with a clean 7 off the next ball. The total was 137 with three overs to come. There were two nervous run outs in the second over and the boys were on 134. Only five needed for victory from the next two overs. No worries. Billy cracks a 2. Madman cracks a 2. Scores level. Billy on strike and tickled a nervous single. The Fathers are in front. Madman gets run out. Minus 5. Billy hits a 2, Madman hits a 2. Scores level again. Billy hits 2 and then Madman finishes the over by smashing it straight back at the bowler off the ground, off his foot and into the back net for 5. Fathers lead by 7 with an over to come. Time to head to the car park for a beer. No problem.

Madman gets a 1 and then Billy gets caught edging into the air, caught off the back net. Uh oh. Three consecutive 1’s ensue and then Billy gets caught again. The lead is 1 with two balls to come. Madman on strike and the boys scamper a nervous single. Billy on strike for the final delivery, Fathers lead by two. Last ball of the match. It’s pitched short and going down leg side.
You just let it go, say no thanks to the ump for the re-bowl, and the match is won.

Nope.

Billy decided it’s worth smashing. He top edged it into the back and side nets down leg. It hovered for an eternity and Billy watched it as intently as anyone in the WICC. The wicket keeper and a fielder ran beneath it. T’was a sitter.

They dropped it.

Billy decided to take off for the single.

Madman sent him back.

THE MATCH WAS WON!

A picture tells a thousand words. Click here for a larger version of the run chase chart.

All’s well that ends well…

SAO certainly set everything right in the car park with catering provisions deserving of a majestic win. There was an equal distribution of lights and Stella’s and Choco was careful on the lights. SAO barely escaped with esky in tact.

Next WEEK 9:30pm
Players
1. Our Kylie
2. Norris (Captain)
3. Itchy
4. Zippy (Beers) - make sure you're there in the car park by 9pm Zippy (and everyone)
5. Choco
6. Gladdy
7. SAO
8. Gilly

Our Kylie (Champion) is back for a match!

Support Crew: The Mayor, Snorkey, Gristle, Freaky, Kev Prez, Harmie, Hugo, Singer, Newman,
Madman and Billy are OUT. Gilly is in DOUBT.

Nad's Farewell - Massive Victory & Send Off

History was made when seven Fathers sent off Nads with a MASSIVE 221 RUNS ON THE BOARD. It never looked a likely chase either with The Sons of ANZACS struggling on a pittance of runs early on and getting only 125 in the end.

Captain NORRIS lead with the bat smashing two fives and two sevens on his way to 42 not out; partner NADS down the other end TOP SCORED for the Fathers with 43 including a no ball that went for seven of the penultimate ball of the 85 RUN PARTNERSHIP! The FFCC WISDEN SOCIETY (GLADDY) HAS MARKED THIS FFCC RECORD PARTNERSHIP FOR ALL ETERNITY.

ITCHY was instrumental if only for declaring lack of fitness just before the match earning an obligatory FINE as seven Fathers took the field. A FINE CREDIT was also awarded due to the reason for unfitness: massive intake of NECTAR! Choco (just a quiet premium light to nurse him back to fitness) was in good form on the sidelines also and the partnership was worthy of 30-40 runs without question.

There were runs aplenty with an entertaining 60 run “not out” partnership by the brothers in arms Madman and Billy the Kid who shared the runs with 30 apiece.

SAO didn’t die wondering on his way to 33 not out and partner Gilly backed up from top scoring (29 not out) last week with another 21 not out.

Billy the Kid faced the first ball and set the standard for the FFCC with 23 not out in the opening partnership. ZIPPY had a fantastic innings as well in the 22 run, skin winning partnership.

ONLY SEVEN FFCC WICKETS FELL (ANOTHER POTENTIAL WISDEN RECORD – GLADDY to confirm). (Two NADS and five ZIPPYIES!)

With the ball in hand the Fathers took 15 wickets and GILLY TOOK A HAT TRICK!

The best bowler was GILLY with 4 for -3.
Billy 3 for 8 (plus another wicket in the last over – just the one seven)
Nads 3 for 15 (just the one 7)
Madman 2 for 24 (just the one full toss beamer – next ball bowled)
SAO took 2 for 29 (just the two 7’s).
Zippy 0 for 21 (and defended the first skin with some v. tidy bowling)
Norris 0 for 28 (absolute rubbish)

FATHERS FOUR SKIN WIN 221 - 125

The carpark victory celebrations were held in Norro’s backyard with cameo appearances from HUGO and THE SNORKMEISTER. GILLY demonstrated exemplary BBQ skills and there were plenty of good snags going round with beers and the FFCC GAVE IT A NUDGE FOR NADS! Like the ancient Chinese proverb says “It’s necessary to nudge the Nads every now and then”.

There was much laughing and much rejoicing. There was even talk of an upcoming ENCAMPMENT!

FINES:
Itchy – for getting a FINE CREDIT for declaring unfitness due to recreational activities
Gilly – for earning a FINE CREDIT for taking a hat trick
Nads – for failing to take the hat trick
SAO – white feather FINE
Billy – white feather FINE
Madman – for attempted MURDER
Hugo and Itchy – for being photographed sleeping with each other in Norro’s backyard
Norris – for photographing Hugo and Itchy sleeping with each other (what goes on tour stays on tour)
Snorkey – for earning a FINE CREDIT for suggesting ENCAMPMENT is due
Choco – for no reason whatsoever really – that’s a DOUBLE FINE for avoiding a FINE!

‘Intuitive Ballbags’ show extreme cowardice in their tie with the Fabulous Fathers

FFCC 123 tie with the Ballbags 123 – Tuesday 9 March 2010

With two balls remaining in last night’s match and the ‘Fabulous Fathers’ leading the ‘Intuitive Ballbags’ by three runs chief scumbag ‘Pressed Ham’ baulked and performed a ‘Mankad’ on the noble Nads.

Obviously scared that his wasted years of first grade cricket (ANU) and ACT Comets representative experience would not be enough to unseat either Nads or Gilly ‘Pressed Ham’ performed the unthinkable in the pursuit of a cheap wicket. Nads blew up and the Fathers bench was cleared with Prez leading the abusive charge with cries of “you bloody wanker”, “are you kidding dickhead?” and “I must try that myself some time” echoing around the arena.

Nads was incensed and marched down the pitch gesticulating wildly and frothing at the mouth to the plainly rattled and pathetic ‘Pressed Ham’. “It’s in the rules mate” was the best the Neanderthal ‘Pressed Ham’ could muster. For his part his partner in crime and fellow ‘ex-semi professional never quite made it to the big leagues but likes to lord it over lesser players in suburban backwaters’ ‘Mick’ endured a barrage of abuse from his vantage point on the back net. I’m not sure but I think I saw tears in his eyes as a few home truths regarding his lineage were delivered to him via a wild eyed and screaming Choco.

Once the pitch invasion had been cleared and ‘Pressed Ham’ had cleaned his spittle flecked eyes there was one ball left to be bowled. Gilly faced up with a determined look on his face and dispatched the last ball to the nets and scampered through for a couple. The game ended in a tie but will long live in FFCC folklore as the most pathetic and cowardly act ever witnessed on an indoor cricket arena.

To commemorate this disgraceful act it is hereby proposed that the next time the mighty FFCC face the cowardly ‘Ballbags’ that a white feather be presented to ‘Pressed Ham’ and he be forced to face nothing but wide deliveries for his entire four overs.