FFCC 123 tie with the Ballbags 123 – Tuesday 9 March 2010With two balls remaining in last night’s match and the ‘Fabulous Fathers’ leading the ‘Intuitive
Ballbags’ by three runs chief scumbag ‘Pressed Ham’ baulked and performed a ‘Mankad’ on the noble Nads.Obviously scared that his wasted years of first grade cricket (ANU) and ACT Comets representative experience would not be enough to unseat either Nads or Gilly ‘Pressed Ham’ performed the unthinkable in the pursuit of a cheap wicket. Nads blew up and the Fathers bench was cleared with Prez leading the abusive charge with cries of “you bloody wanker”, “are you kidding dickhead?” and “I must try that myself some time” echoing around the arena.
Nads was incensed and marched down the pitch gesticulating wildly and frothing at the mouth to the plainly rattled and pathetic ‘Pressed Ham’. “It’s in the rules mate” was the best the Neanderthal ‘Pressed Ham’ could muster. For his part his partner in crime and fellow ‘ex-semi professional never quite made it to the big leagues but likes to lord it over lesser players in suburban backwaters’ ‘Mick’ endured a barrage of abuse from his vantage point on the back net. I’m not sure but I think I saw tears in his eyes as a few home truths regarding his lineage were delivered to him via a wild eyed and screaming Choco.
Once the pitch invasion had been cleared and ‘Pressed Ham’ had cleaned his spittle flecked eyes there was one ball left to be bowled. Gilly faced up with a determined look on his face and dispatched the last ball to the nets and scampered through for a couple. The game ended in a tie but will long live in FFCC folklore as the most pathetic and cowardly act ever witnessed on an indoor cricket arena.
To commemorate this disgraceful act it is hereby proposed that the next time the mighty FFCC face the cowardly ‘Ballbags’ that a white feather be presented to ‘Pressed Ham’ and he be forced to face nothing but wide deliveries for his entire four overs.
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