Beijing comes alive with introduction of the Founding Fathers

Reuters

A lackluster Beijing Olympics was awakened from its tedium last night by the introduction of the sexy new Olympic demonstration sport, indoor cricket.

With the pride of the game on the line and the potential for billions of people to be introduced to the spectacle of indoor cricket there was a lot riding on the match. Fortunately the crouching tiger Norris and the hidden dragon Itchy did not disappoint and combined to put the 'Smashed Budgies' to the sword in the first ever indoor cricket match at the Beijing Olympics.

Despite missing the opening ceremony on Friday night due to a dearth of sponsorship dollars the Fathers responded well considering the match had to be moved from Beijing to Weston Creek.

After winning the toss the Fathers put the little Budgies in to the field. Perhaps the Budgies were distressed at not playing in their favored birds nest stadium or perhaps they were just suffering in the 35 degree heat and 90% humidity but whatever the case their bowlers were just not up to the task.

The normally unflappable Australian Olympic broadcaster Bruce McAvaney summed it up best last night when he exclaimed, "Forget Hackett, forget Phelps and forget Olympic feats of yore, the real excitement machines of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing are the Founding Fathers!"

To be fair, Bruce had a point last night. The flashing blades of the Fathers batsmen decimated the Budgies attack and by the time the 16 overs were done the wounded Budgies had conceded 189 runs and a lot of cuttlefish in side bets.

Top scoring bat was Harmie with Norris and Snorky providing bludgeoning cameos also. Highlights included Norris being bowled around his leg by a ball deceptive in its timidity of pace and straight flight.

When the time came to take the field the Beijing Fathers did not yield to the temptation to take it easy and rest for later Olympic encounters. Instead the Fathers amped it up a bit more and sent down exocet after exocet missile. The fielding Fathers supported their bowlers with feats reminiscent of Jackie Chan and Jet Li at their lithesome best. Tumbling here and tumbling there to gather up the ball combined with laser like throwing accuracy to have the Budgies on the rack early.

In truth the Budgies never had a chance against the Olympic debutant Fathers and it ended with them posting a paltry 91 chasing down the Fathers 189.

The only question that remains is how far the Fathers can take this new found interest in indoor cricket that their Olympic debut has created? Will they take eventual gold against the highly fancied Slovaks? Will they move the franchise to China to capitalise on the emerging Asian fan base? The streets of Beijing are already lined with vendors selling replica Fathers jerseys and autographed score sheets are in hot demand.

A new cultural revolution for China perhaps? Only time will tell but one thing is for sure, the 2008 Beijing games mark the beginning of a new era in Olympic and FFCC history.

BREAKING NEWS
In related news last nights explosive entry onto the Olympic scene sent a strong message to potential FFCC sponsors.

FFCC manager, Khoder Nasser, and ardent supporter Anthony 'Choc' Mundine were unequivocal in denouncing the Australian business community for not getting behind this great Australian team, "look mate, we all know it's because the boys are Muslims that no one has sponsored them. Racism and religious bigotry in this country has to be stamped out".

When it was later pointed out that none of the FFCC squad was, in fact, Muslim Khoder was quick to clarify his earlier statement, "Sorry guys, my mistake. I have two clients with similar names, Sonny Bill Williams and Sonny Bill Wilson, it's confusing. I meant to have said that Australian sponsors are ageist. I'll be the first to admit that the boys are not necessarily spring chickens but their good looks, panache and dogged determination have got to be worth something to someone surely? Hello Viagra?"

FFCC player representative 'Nads' was believed to be holidaying with Sonny Bill Wilson and the Khmer Rouge on the Laos Cambodia border and could not be contacted for comment.