The Mare has left the building.......NEIGH!

THE MAYOR’S LAST STAND

The 'Mare' (aka Mayor McCheese, aaka The Panther) led the Fathers out of the gates and pipped the Stump Jumpers at the post: 185 – 109. The Mare opened the batting and then later, with tears in his eyes, bowled the final victorious delivery of the match.

In his last stand, the newly dubbed The Mare, (as recorded on the official score card) wreaked havoc on the pitch belting runs with the bat and cutting batsmen in half with his bowling. “I reckon I bowled the best ball of my career in me first over mate ... NNEEEEIIGGHHHHH!!!” said the champagne soaked Mare in the post match press conference.

The Fathers put in an inspirational performance on the pitch and then raised the bar in post match festivities to send off The Mare in style. Even Billy the Kid weighed in with an announcement that he is finally making the Fathers honest men with the impending birth of Billy Junior.

There were jubilant calls of “Neeeeeeeighhhhhhh!!” throughout the traditional post match score card review.

“Not a bad time to semi-retire after a performance like that and with the lads making all those whinnying noises” said The Mare as he hooked into a post match bbq garlic prawn roll.

The Fathers batted first:

The Mare 20 opened up with Billy the Dad 11 – Partnership 31;

Itchy 26 and Gilly 11 followed up with 37;

Choco 29 and China 15 raised the bar with 44; and

Nads 46 and Norris 27 put the result beyond doubt with a massive 73 run (not out) partnership

The Fathers defended 185:

Billy the Dad (4 for 7) struck early with a first ball jack pot wicket; the Slump Jumpers reeled.

The Mare (2 for 10) menaced the first partnership taking 2 for -1 to deny the first skin. The Slumpers shoulders dropped.

Itchy (3 for 2), Gilly (3 for 22) and Norris (3 for 16) were tidy denying a seemingly certain second skin. The Slumpers stewed. The Mare broke into a trot.

Choco (3 for 17), China (1 for 22), Norris and Gilly combined for 7 wickets to secure the third skin. Norris (Legend) sensationally blasted the stumps in a spectacular run out off Gilly’s last ball to take the skin by 2 runs. Snorkey on the sidelines crossed his legs in excitement.

Billy the Dad, Itchy and Nads (3 for 13) did the work early in the fourth partnership taking 7 for -2 leaving The Mare 8 final deliveries before being carried from the pitch to his adoring fans in the grandstand. Nads earned the Captain Mare’s BUNS award with his positive contribution of 33 in a 76 run drubbing.

BBQ steak, onion, bacon and cheese rolls, beers and Harmie were on the menu at Chez Norrisses for a fire side match report chat that the neighbours will talk about for years. The Mare was sent off in style. Now piss off and go to Sydney Mare! NNEEEEEIIIGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Fathers win two run thriller!

Gilly (MVP) top scored with 28 (not out) and took a hat trick making it a hat trick of hat tricks in rounds two, three and four. Sheer brilliance. Legend.

Itchy factored into the run scoring with an equal top 28 (not out). Luck never entered into it and Itchy chopped wood like it’s never been chopped.

CAPTAIN NORRIS chipped in a positive contribution with 22 runs and 1 for 21. But Norris was not pleased. Especially after Gladdy and Madman conspired to let a dribbler through for five runs when the batsmen were all at sea off Norrisses bowling.

There were CAPTAIN’S FINES aplenty. MVP Gilly copped one for abandoning his post, preferring a position in the field and running a bit of a master class.

Madman earned a CAPTAINS FINE CREDIT for a few deliberate head high beamers in the first over, thus setting the tone for the match and earning his teary eyed Captain’s respect and admiration.

Billy the Kid took a tidy 3 for 10 taking a brilliant caught and bowled and earned a FINE for the NON-Hat Trick.

Itchy bowled an absolute PEARLER, a Yorker that was an away swinger to the right handed batsmen. Itchy had cajoled him into thinking it was going down leg side and didn’t really offer a shot. It swung in, barely clipped the back of the batsman’s leg and cannoned into leg stump. BOWLED AROUND HIS LEGS! With undeniable brilliance, the match was turned.

SAO copped a rather vocal Captain’s FINE when he reckoned aloud that with the run chase at 139, Norrisses Captaincy was at an end. Norris was not pleased. SAO responded by putting 6 runs on the board under extreme pressure batting with Itchy in a second skin winning partnership worth 34.

Choco had already done the damage with a 22 run stand in the opening partnership with Gilly and chased down the skin by a run.

Norris took strike in the premiership partnership and played a looping false stroke into the air in the midwicket region but the gap had been found and 4 runs were on the board. Norris ducked two pacey bouncers, only one of which was called a wide. Gladdy and Norris saw off the wayward pace men and were run out just the once taking the 139 run chase to 126. Gladdy valiantly charged down the pitch on the final delivery looking for a seven to take the skin but the edge was found and two was added to the total of 42.

Madman strode onto the court with Billy like it didn’t matter what the run chase was. It would be got. Madman took strike, a nervous single was taken, and it was MATCH ON! There was a run out in the first over but Madman calmly dictated with a clean 7 off the next ball. The total was 137 with three overs to come. There were two nervous run outs in the second over and the boys were on 134. Only five needed for victory from the next two overs. No worries. Billy cracks a 2. Madman cracks a 2. Scores level. Billy on strike and tickled a nervous single. The Fathers are in front. Madman gets run out. Minus 5. Billy hits a 2, Madman hits a 2. Scores level again. Billy hits 2 and then Madman finishes the over by smashing it straight back at the bowler off the ground, off his foot and into the back net for 5. Fathers lead by 7 with an over to come. Time to head to the car park for a beer. No problem.

Madman gets a 1 and then Billy gets caught edging into the air, caught off the back net. Uh oh. Three consecutive 1’s ensue and then Billy gets caught again. The lead is 1 with two balls to come. Madman on strike and the boys scamper a nervous single. Billy on strike for the final delivery, Fathers lead by two. Last ball of the match. It’s pitched short and going down leg side.
You just let it go, say no thanks to the ump for the re-bowl, and the match is won.

Nope.

Billy decided it’s worth smashing. He top edged it into the back and side nets down leg. It hovered for an eternity and Billy watched it as intently as anyone in the WICC. The wicket keeper and a fielder ran beneath it. T’was a sitter.

They dropped it.

Billy decided to take off for the single.

Madman sent him back.

THE MATCH WAS WON!

A picture tells a thousand words. Click here for a larger version of the run chase chart.

All’s well that ends well…

SAO certainly set everything right in the car park with catering provisions deserving of a majestic win. There was an equal distribution of lights and Stella’s and Choco was careful on the lights. SAO barely escaped with esky in tact.

Next WEEK 9:30pm
Players
1. Our Kylie
2. Norris (Captain)
3. Itchy
4. Zippy (Beers) - make sure you're there in the car park by 9pm Zippy (and everyone)
5. Choco
6. Gladdy
7. SAO
8. Gilly

Our Kylie (Champion) is back for a match!

Support Crew: The Mayor, Snorkey, Gristle, Freaky, Kev Prez, Harmie, Hugo, Singer, Newman,
Madman and Billy are OUT. Gilly is in DOUBT.