PANTHER ADVISES FFCC BOARD "I'm Semi-Retiring"

The Mayor is heading north to fight crime in the cricket nets and car parks of Sydney and WE ARE SENDING HIM OFF!!

NEXT WEEK 6:50pm CRICKET MATCH – SAO TO ANNOUNCE THE EIGHT – The Mayor will be on deck to Captain the Fathers to victory one last time

Then, after glorious victory, off to Norrises pad TO SEND OFF THE MAYOR. BBQ, beers, tunes, cricket on the flat screen and match report highlights of the FFCC Champion career of The Mayor, it’ll be on for young and old. (Okay,… old) The FFCC Board will be accepting donations to pour The Mayor into the back of a taxi and send him on his way after a champagne and chicken breakfast. All FFCC members, Semi-retired or not, including Gladdy, are welcome to attend the send off. Send us an RSVP to help confirm required numbers of bottles of dom perrignon. (and sausages and steaks of course, cookies for dessert!) (There will be some lettuce in the fridge if Nads feels like a salad.) STEP UP FELLAS TO SEND OFF THE MAYOR!!!

MATCH REPORT FOR THIS WEEK

DEBITANT PLUGGER (SYMO) TAKES THREE FOR NOTHIN'

Harmie notched up another milestone smashing another million runs for the Fathers last night with Nads following close behind (sorry Nads - your second dig doesn't count). But there was no "dig" at all from limp-arsed, trouble-footed Norris or debutant Plugger. "Maate, you'll pull a hammy or a calf, let's drink a beer" said Norris early in the first over. Harmy smashed another million in his second dig. (but it doesn’t count). The Mayor hit a few sevens and China chipped in cleverly turning a few wide deliveries outside off stump down to fine leg for a quick single. Itchy chopped serious wood.

Norris and Plugger did their bit in the field and left the run chase to the professionals with The Mayor leading a top batting line up with Harmie and Nads blasting away, Itchy hit straight and hard through the back net and China wore a hole in the net between fine and square leg. While batting the Fathers were robbed no less than 16 runs through a hole in the back net and it would have been the difference.

Norris made his impact in the field by dropping a sitter off Pluggerses fourth delivery in the baggy tie dye. Norris missed a few other chances as well but didn't exactly stand out from a generally laclustre performance in the field. (Okay - he stood out a bit) High performance coach Itchy was not pleased. But the Captain Panther was always ready to take a wicket.

Anyways, later in Pluggerses first over The Mayor reeled one in (catch) and Pluggerses maiden Fatherses wicket was well earned. And there were more to come in Pluggerses next over and the tide was actually momentarily stemmed. Itchy regularly sent stumps catapulting pretty much everywhere and was basically miffed that he hadn’t been offered several contracts in Sydney ahead of The Mayor.

But the wickets were otherwise few and far between. The FFCC played without a wicket keeper and Harmie was pissed as there had been stumping opportunities galore off his bowling. Harmie finally unleashed a fireball and pegged back the leg stump with aplomb. (I always wanted to use the word ‘aplomb’ in a match report)

Plugger earned in his nickname through his cat-like display of skills in the field keeping the ball off the net and making the batsmen earn their runs with quick shies at the stumps and plenty of wickets along the way. Whilst rubbing his chin in afterthought Plugger said "Yes, well, wasn't gonna play tonight but seeing as yous guys only had five blokes thought I'd better PLUG a few holes for yous". AND PLUG HOLES HE DID. PLUGGER WAS BORN!

In the end the Fathers only barely missed out on chasing down 200 for victory. If Norris and Plugger had gone in at the death – who knows?

Champions of the world

The WICC Wiccly
Reporter Nads
16 January 2008

Fathers, welcome back after another top night……remember, folklore is made right about here somewhere.

97 to 164…Father’s victorious…A match full of highlights. Here’s a few:

After years of diligent backyard practice – windows broken, familial relationships tested….. quote Jasper ” daddy, what is a stump?? And why do I always have to be them?” - and having never quite successfully enacted a run out in a long and glorious career…upon Gilly bowling, Norris, with conviction, takes the gloves and throws down the bowlers stumps from keepers end (with gloves on). OUT!! ….champion.

Perhaps we should get him to wear a pair of gloves no matter where he fields……. I’ll play it again….Like Einstein's third law, time seems to stretch, the moment slows, we all sit back, like with TV remote in hand, we watch the replay, asNorro dexterously swoops, gathers, releases, the batter is closing in on the crease, but the closer he gets the more the slo of the mo kicks in, the ball tracers in, Nads at bowlers end readies to receives the yellow bullet, but he is made redundant with the ball smashing into the stumps, batter stranded………thinks Norro…” hmmm, happy now, thanks Jasper for all those long afternoons of (target) practice”

Itchy, notorious for his sublime footwork in the field (ie. Stopping the ball, picking up the ball, throwing the ball, all just with the use of his left instep), has a complete extreme makeover (mind meltdown), and picks up the ball with his meta carpals (after all these years of honing your foot skills, itch, what were you thinking??…. Potentially a career defining moment, putting a career on the line without even a split second moment of consideration)……but we gotta hand it to you itch, as not once, not twice (mate, I lost count), he takes the ball in hand, in that dreaded long off corner – a position made famous be the enigmatic Snorks (but where is he now – show us your sheep_ loved the touching swing video – I didn’t realize how sensitive you are), and Inzy, for his perpetual pirouetting (Inzy, it’s called cricket, not frigan Madam Butterfly) – and Itchy releases, demolishes the stumps – Itchy… you legend.

Madman – at short cover, a sublime gather with the left hand, transfer, turn and throw… another run out… but where were you when we needed you in the carpark, when accosted by those 4 foot tall teenagers. We could have done with your years of constabulary experience. Perhaps you could have posed the question “where did you get those UDL’s, and you, you handsome technicolour pride fellas, did you sell some to those kids”” Instead the comment was left to the Beat police that showed….. what an inane, and utterly rediculous question… what could 7 aging gay pride champions gain from off loading a few UDL’s??? My take is that those young constables just wanted a piece of our action… and why wouldn’t you??

Sean – nice commentary on the kids… incisive observation that their parents (or more pointedly, their two fathers) were just leaving the carpark as they arrived.

Once again a fine display of clean hitting, and express softening them up bowling (thanks Harmy) prior to unleashing the straight and full delivery to obliterate the stumps)

What is it with Gilly??? How many times does he grab the ball off the back net and blindfolded, back handed, flick it into the stumps for the runout. Last night, not sure about you, but I lost count. Next week, would someone bring him a pumpydoll??

And what an unsuspecting partnership he seems to be forming when he puts Norro behind the stumps. The Gilly bowling demon/Norro “just call me Rod Marsh ” partnership, always bring a cascade of wickets – perhaps one of life’s anomalies…I don’t know.

And what about the Hugo short leg fielding flick back to keeper Norro manouvre. From where I was standing it was worthy of the Go Nads unco weekly (GNUW) award… there seemed to be arms and legs everywhere – although I wasn’t sure which belonged to who… there was a moment when the two bodies seemed to merge as one….perhaps its something that only brothers can hope to understand…. I certainly didn’t get it, but a wicket resulted and the GNUW award is, for the first time, shared (and well deserved)…… which brings us to Hugo.. can bat, can bowl, can strain medial ligaments, and can take out the GNUW and sitter of the match award in the same match. Admired by all. Top work Hugoss.

Kermie – well wasn’t it just a delight for us all to see that he is human. Let me set the scene-> Norro, knowing the Father’s need to get off to a good start with their run chase, he opens the batting with the trusted Kermie, Kermie to face. First delivery faced he pops a powder puff to short mid on..OUT…(hard luck mate).. next ball run out.. The father’s are heading south.. good work Kermster…. But for mine his night does not really begin until the WICC post match woodland carparkventure. Here he is always found brainstorming (mostly on his own… but he needs no help)….. it would appear we are all now headed for a destination with a father’s working bee homemade wood fired pizza oven… Yes folks, we are not long from unveiling the first ever homemade Founding Father’s Supreme (easy on the anchovies)… Where would we be without that sort of clear Kermie direction. He already has a role for us all to play…. I’m just not sure how the Spanish sheep and olive combo is gonna be worked into it. But a Founding Father’s Supreme has got to have a few surprises, so Snorkel my friend, I’m sure you’ll play integral role.

For me the match was quite personal.

(1) What is it with guys hitting bullets my direction at subterranean level. Frig, have you taken a look at me, I’m no teenage 4 footer, my hammy’s are stretched to the max in just getting out of bed, and these guys expect me to catch the ball down there. Well, I had to oblige.

(2) And it was time for me to purge – sorry Gilly, but I needed a not out at bat, and unfortunate for you but you had to take the consequence of my batting misdemeanours.

(3) And for me, last night, it was about the carpark, two weeks running and the father’s just don’t seem to want to go home. CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD

PS: We flogged the twats.

Nads


Next weeks game is at 6.50pm

Team is:

Gilly
Itchy – acting captain
Nads – beer (not Light Ice you tight arse) boy
Kermeee
Madman
Harmy – aka Sean
Chocco
Miccy – are you ready to don the baggy gay pride?