Grumpy Umpie Foils Fathers Fun Flogging Foolish Flies

Mussolini returned to umpire at the WICC after a prick of a day at work and the discovery that his girlfriend had spent the afternoon with the Maggots captain. He was in a mood that rhymed with bunt. Nothing like spending a hundred bucks when you get 100% effort from the opposition - knobs. Ol’ capn was knackered from his afternoons exploits and umpie took 5 for each stroke. So 10 runs down and ol’ victa (two stroke) launched into a volley of verbal abuse giving Gilly the best figures of his career. Not bad for a bloke that was diagnosed with Ebola not 2 weeks prior. Gilly also knocked up a handy 27 pad free. Great to have him back, though he was lucky to escape equipment abuse with some glove throwing.

The wicket and bowling was also to Itchy’s taste – his characteristic fleet footed front foot play was sublime in his knock of 40 (world record) and his agile back court catching of the maggots bullets was nothing short of superb. Other notable batting performances were Nads 38, the enigmatic Cheesy 30 and Norro with a brilliant 8…Jimmy Higgs coaching has really helped him along. Look I can crap on all day but it was noted that my card run thru was dreary and boring - and I might add so was the game. Abuse, counter abuse, fines, reports and complaints - a distinct lack of effort and a win that was assured before the maggots 6th over. Crap really, and we can only hope things will improve.

Car park beers were spent fighting over admin duties more specifically dealing with the late pullouts from the frog – Billy’s 5.30pm party invite (but a good knock Bill – 24) also copped some abuse from the Canook. So after Norros’ uncompromising withdrawl from his post Itchy and I decided to take on the administrative duties. Good on ya Itch. Just an aside to let you know my hair has grown back where my head was scraping on the roof of the pimp mobile on the way home, and Amber wondered why I smelt of cheap perfume. Happy to let you pick me up as long as its dark.

The only other thing to emerge from the cool rarified atmosphere of the car park was the impending FATHERS FAMILY TRIP TO BALI. Put a week aside next July – first week of school holidays. Think about it – but leave the boogie board at home. Norro’s the mule. Kids, Missuses, Fathers and pets are welcome. It will be one of those things that will be remembered with great fondness as you draw your last breath, and the great thing is that the kids will be so knackered after a day in the pool they will be asleep by 6! Arak o’clock. More details to follow. Word up the Missuses, but don’t write it on your hand Gladdy.
Capn Snorkwash