Headline after headline for the FFCC

CAPTAIN McCHEESE NAILS HOLE IN ONE
The Fatherses loss on Tuesday was unarguably attributed to CAPTAIN The Mayor using up all his luck earlier in the day with a hole in one on the Capital 18th (unwitnessed, unrecorded and unconfirmed) but nonetheless eloquently and magnificently recounted by the Captain in the carpark. McCheese didn’t care because he TOP SCORED with the bat with 27 (not out)
and returned a +2 contribution in a side that was net negative -126.

SNORKMEISTER DECLARES SHOULDER SURGERY SUCCESS
“Shoulder surgery, what shoulder surgery? Those guys couldn’t get anywhere near it let alone actually hit it! Eat your heart out Warney”. Snorkeyreturned BEST BOWLING figures of 4 for 13 despite Norris dropping his first ball for 7! “If I can get the bat to fire next week I’ll be looking for a decent A-Grade Contract” said the Snork brimming with confidence in the car park, crowny in hand.

COME BACK KING KERMIE BEST ON GROUND
In his first match back after a spell the skills were on display with an unfazed and nonchalant Kermie calmly collecting 22 runs and allowing a miserly 1 for 16. POSITVE CONTRIBUTION +8. “Ya I reckon the indoor form of the game is as pure as it gets. And with a match under the belt I
automatically qualify for encampment which is what it’s all about baby.”

Fruity Jam 195; Founding Fathers 69.

NADS 3 for 26 including a magnificent Jack Pot stumping (Gilly) and 20 runs off the bat.

NORRIS leaked like a sieve down the back but was 18 (not out) and 2 for 25.

GILLY 12 (not out) and 1 for 40! (How did all of Gilly’s run outs get attributed to Hugo?)

HUGO 3 for 16 with the ball and -12 with the bat. “If Gilly hadn’t run me out 14 times I would have posted a half century man.”

SNORKEY -18 runs! (Also run out several times by Gilly even though Gilly wasn’t even his batting partner.)

Consistent SAO was none for 17 from his first over and none for 17 from his second (and NONE runs from the bat!) (No thanks to Norris) “Again” said SAO in the car park continuing to justify his conspiracy theory (quite rightly).

Official Duties – GILLY’s exemplary car park catering (schmorgasboard!) under the well lit covered entrance to the Presbyterian Church. There were Burger Rings and McCheese was pleased.

LAST MATCH OF THE YEAR - COMPULSORY ATTENDANCE FOR ALL FFCC CHAMPIONS

This is traditionally a MASSIVE night – NADS hit a 7 off the last ball of the match TO WIN THE MATCH BY 1 RUN in the inaugural Christmas Eve match AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING.

A couple of spots open up for next week with Kermie declaring unavailability and SAO offering his spot if there is a taker out there.

Could Kylie make a COMEBACK to join Gladdy, Snorkey and Kermie continuing recent trends?

Has Itchy returned from the international lumber jack championships and ready for a match?

IN THE XMAS FFCC 8:
1. NORRIS - CAPTAIN
2. NADS
3. GILLY
4. HUGO
5. OUR KYLIE
6. THE MAYOR
7. ITCHY
8. GLADDY – CATERING

Participating from the sidelines (compulsory attendance remember) – Snorkey, Harmie, Freaky, SAO, Billy, Gristle, Singer, Mr Prez

BRING BACK MADMAN!

Obama to sign for the Founding Fathers in 2010?

After his inauguration speech when he said this:

"Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter* to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expediency's sake.”

Now Obama is seen getting batting tips from none other than the great Brian Lara.

How long before we see the US President turn out for the Founding Father's Cricket Club?

*The 'charter' he is talking about we call 'the rules'.

Fathers steamroll the top of the table

BACK TO BACK 4 SKIN WINS UNDER CAPTAIN SAO

The Founding Fathers steam rolled the top of the table Polar Bears on Tuesday night with match winning individual performances all around. Captain SAO was the man with the manifesto: "If it ain't broke don't fix it" said SAO after retaining the partnership sequence from the previous week's victory. But in reference to the Polar Bears: "Those blokes are badly broken... heh, heh."

"Our champagne run into the finals has started early this season" said Best and Unneededest Gilly who took five wickets and demoralised the third partnership who were on -33 after facing only 8 deliveries.

Late withdrawals from Billy the Kid, Gristle and Singer meant the side was unchanged with Nads, Itchy and Norris filling the breach. "I turned up just to drink beer." said Norris who top scored with 36 not out. "His innings was brilliant" said Nads "The way he deflected the quick
straight ones off his shins into the cover region was simply breathtaking."

Nads and Norrisses defence down the back was nothing short of spectacular. Itchy, the FFCC High Performance Coach was pleased, "We knew we'd done our job with the bat and put the Polar Bears under immense pressure. I gave Norris and Nads a bit of a spray before the second innings and they got the message - you'd pretty much have to credit me with their immaculate performance this evening."

With all Fathers contributing match positive figures (except Captain SAO whose bowling changes were inspiring) it was difficult to determine who was the most Unneededest. "It had to go to Gilly" said Gladdy who has reinvented himself with a clever leg stump line mixed with menacing bumpers: "They were already on the ropes and then Gilly taking those 5 wickets with nine deliveries was totally unnecessary".

But the bowling performance of the innings had to go to The Panther who introduced nothing but spiteful disdain in his second spell. "Cheesy cut that bloke in half so many times he looked like a pepperoni pizza" was all Norris had to say and The Mayor was snubbing the BBQ crinkles
preferring instead a quiet deep pan meat lovers on the way home after a couple of quick beers in the car park.

The Prez rounded out the night with a stunning car park catering performance including an esky designed and constructed by NASA. There was much rejoicing and the esky was completely drained.

An unchanged side has been named next week due to back to back brilliant performances and consecutive four skin victories. The Mayor is a possible late withdrawal but it appears the tight knit FFCC crew would rather play with 7 than carry an inexperienced up and comer.

Next Week - 6:50pm
1 Nads
2 Mr Prez
3 Norris (catering services)
4 Cheesy/The Mayor/The Panther
5 SAO - Retains the Captaincy
6 Itchy
7 Gilly
8 Gladdy

Up and comers: Gristle, Hugo, Billy the Kid, Choco. (let us know if you
are available next week)

Singer - OUT until further notice - message received from Singer indicated he was unable to play last Tuesday due to double booking with the Martha Stewart Sewing Tips Show on the Oprah Network.

The batting STATS
Mr Prez 30 not out
Nads 31

Norris 36 not out
The Mayor 16

Itchy 24
SAO -2

Gilly 11
Gladdy 12

The bowling STATS
Norris 2 for 28
The Mayor 3 for 3
SAO 3 for 13
Nads 2 for 18
The Prez 1 for 24
Gladdy 3 for 3
Itchy 2 for 7
Gilly 5 for -10

NADS Best and Unneededest in BIG WIN for FFCC

The Fathers regained finals form with a comprehensive four skin win and extended car park session at the WICC.

Recent debutants Captain Sir Lord SAO and Mr Prez looked sharp in their new baggy tie dyes and SAO chose runs on the board after winning the toss. And there were runs aplenty. With Gladdy returning to the FFCC limelight the Fathers were buoyed with confidence and competitive spirit.

First in to bat were Nads (48 not out) and Mr Prez (32 not out) put up a modest partnership total of 80 just to set a wee bit of a foundation.

Norris (9) and Mayor McCheese (7) went down swinging losing two early wickets and two late wickets and were on a partnership hat trick (FINE) at the end of their innings. Norris opted to bat boxless after being offered Mr Prez’s lovely little laced black negligee box complete with 14 year oldunwashed crusty pool of pond scum.

Itchy (26 not out) chopped wood like a lumberjack and The Lord (21) took the game beyond reach with the total at 143 with the old guard still to bat.

Gilly (29 not out) and Gladdy (17) were practically chanceless and pressed hard barely falling short of the innings double ton.

Highlights of the Fathers in the Field:
The Cheesemeister (0 for 21) preying on the gurus like a leopard in full
flight;
Gladdy (1 for 31) taking one for the team (check out the bruise – photo
posted on the website);
Norris (3 for 28) catching one with his arm pit;
Itchy (2 for 8) cowering in the covers;
Captain SAO (2 for 22) brilliant bowling changes and clever field placements;
Mr Prez (3 for 5) saving the second skin with 3 for -5;
Gilly (3 for 26) best wicket keeper the Fathers had all night; and
Nads (6 for -14) with catches and run outs – the man is a STAR!

Gilly’s catering skills were the best of the night but The Mayor found no BBQ crinkles. It was unanimously agreed in the car park that since the Fathers won by 65 runs, Nadses positive contribution of 62 was not required thus earning three points in the race for FFCC Best and
Unneededest this season. (And pick up about 8 FINES! in the process.)

Next Week 6:50pm
1. Gristle
2. Lord SAO – Captain
3. Mr Prez – catering and daringly testing FFCC constitutional ice
requirements;
4. Billy
5. Gilly
6. Gladdy
7. The Mayor
8. Singer

Pine riders – Norris, Itchy, Hugo, Nads, Sniper, Choco, Harmie
When is the G-Nat ready for a comeback?
We could practically field two teams with Our Kylie, Freaky, and Madman
(due back soon)

Three cheers for Gladdy, hip hip hematoma......

Gladdy celebrates his return to the FFCC with a ripper of a hematoma. Click on the above to see the photo in all its glory.

Working Bee at the Norris Estate

Tie dyeing t-shirts and building a deck. Can you think of a more harmonious combination?Workers on the day included: Norris, The Mayor, Nads, Gladdy, Hugo, Itchy, Russ and Terry.

The results of the labour.

Itchy impersonating 'Bob the Builder'

The Mayor and Norris supervise

Itchy's tie-dyeing masterpieces

Left to right: The mayor; Nads; Itchy; Jasper; Norris & Gladdy

FFCC Hold Press Conference To Announce They Are Still Sort Of An Indoor Cricket Team

WESTON, AUSTRALIA—Founding Fathers high performance coach Itchy held a press conference this morning to reassure fans that, despite an inability to effectively execute their fielding, bowling, or batting, the Founding Fathers were still somewhat comparable to a real indoor cricket team.

"It's been a tough pre-season so far, and even though we are 2-4, we still have players, uniforms, bats—all the components that technically constitute an indoor cricket team, sort of," Itchy said while grimacing and making a "so-so" gesture with his hand. "Sure, I was stripped of play-calling responsibilities by team management, and I really don't have any clue who will open the bowling for us next Tuesday, but I swear to you, in a weird, very convoluted way, we are in the WICC competition."

Placing his hand over the microphone, Itchy then spoke briefly with an unidentified man near the stage, and announced that, for what it's worth, the organization owns the Internet domain name ffcricket.com through 2010.

Sniper gelded in 100 run deficit

Debutant SNIPER raised the bar taking no wicket for 31 runs in a match which has already been long forgotten in the annals of indoor cricket history. “This is grading season – you’re not supposed to win” said Sniper after his 11 wides, legs sides, and no ball deliveries. With a sitter of a run out chance at the bowlers end, Sniper calmly went about his business tossing the ball to the keeper ensuring the runners safely made their ground and his no wicket record remained intact. “This bloke Sniper knows the gig” said Norris who took one wicket (by accident) for 31. “Sorry I got a bit excited and nailed all those stumpings” said Gilly who pitched in with 1 for 32. SAO sat on the fence with a mere -16 run contribution. “My 5 runs off the bat were out of line – they just couldn’t hit the stumps.” SAO’s bowling was effective taking 3 for 21 with a couple of missed chances. But Captain Billy the Kid, Harmie and Nads conspired to earn the FFCC a bit of respect. Billy the Kid took out Man of the Match honours with a +20 run contribution, Harmie top scored with 27 runs and Nads took four wickets including a hat trick in his first over. The Fathers rallied in the Car Park with Heinies and Cascade Lights compliments of SAO. Beautiful. Nads broke out the Grand Final Loot and Gilly graciously accepted the MAN OF THE FINALS SERIES magnificent clean skin WICC bat. Nads handed out WICC glasses , an excellent sports bag (which he kept for himself) and some beautiful Adidas socks which prompted much snickering about FFCC folklore and Quiet Achiever awards of years gone by.

Well do ya punk? Do ya?

Click on the image for a larger version.

Avoid disappointment - book early

Founding Fathers double-header semi final victories!

The Founding Fathers booked a berth in the preliminary Grand Final at the WICC next Tuesday night at 5:30pm.

“Considering we smashed ‘em two weeks ago with only six there’s no doubting a Grand Final Championship of the World is well within grasp” said The Mayor whilst hooking into bbq crinkles on the Presbyterian Church covered balcony overlooking the rainy car park vista.

Norris piped in: “Those bbq crinkles will get The Mayor running between the wickets next week.”

Hugo added, “We just need to put a chip on the middle stump at each end.” HA! HA!

The was much raucous rejoicing in the car park after the Fathers casually dismissed the Partridge Famulee 162 – 72 and then showed class backing up with a gritty and determined stand against third placed Polar Bears 155 – 133.

“BBQ and beers at my place next week after we regain the Champions of the World Title” announced Norris in a mid-doubleheader score card sermon that included a record number of Founding Fathers FINES! The congregation gathered in the car park with interest.

“Geez the Fathers were ON FIRE in that first match – that was the best cricket I HAVE EVER SEEN!” said Gladdy who earned a FINE! for departing the WICC before the end of the second match. Itchy hung in there to raise beers in the car park - FINE CREDIT!

Captain Nads won the toss (FINES to Singa and Gristle for missing the toss) and chose runs on the board sending in Gilly (19 not out) and The Mayor (24) who was out LBW watching an away swinger down leg hit him in front of leg stump. Norris comforted The Mayor letting him know he was only the second Founding Father in history to be out LBW - after Norris (2 LBW’s!) The Mayor felt much better and almost gave Norris a car park peck on the cheek.

The Flamboyant Norris (2 for 15) took strike with Steady the Ship Hugo (1 for 21) and smashed a FOUR off the jackpot ball. Hugo was never a run out chance and turned over the strike quietly compiling the fourth highest Fatherses total of the innings.

Singa (12) and Billy The Kid (16 not out) threw down the gauntlet in a premier partnership that took the Fathers to 107 with a partnership to come.

Nads (28) top scored in a 55 run partnership with Gristle (27). Nadses two 7’s and a 5 got Gristle going who smashed beautiful drive for 7 down the ground. If not for the net, the Partridge Famulee would still be searching for the ball in a nearby post code.

The Partridge Famulee needed 163 to win but there were wickets aplenty:

Gristle 5 for -8 (+35 run contribution and MAN OF THE MATCH!)
Nads 4 for 2 (+26 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Gilly 4 for 4 (+15 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Singer 4 for 5 (+7 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
The Mayor 3 for 11 (+13 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Hugo 2 for 18 (+3 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Norris 2 for 13 (+2 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Billy 2 for 26 (-10 run contribution – FINE!)

HAT TRICKS to Singer and Gristle who each earn a FINE CREDIT (non redeemable at official Founding Fathers functions.)

Nads earned three FINES! in one over for failing to take the hat trick and a White Feather FINE (C-C-4-C-C) and then copped another FINE in the carpark for back chat after Itchy accused an additional White Feather FINE! Rule 16 was brought into play by Norris but the vote was deferred until next week.

Billy and Gilly earned White Feather FINES! and The Mayor was FINED for eating all the bbq crinkles.

Elimination Semi Final 2:

The Fathers lost the second toss and were sent in. Reigning Captain Nads decided to run with the winning formula – The Mayor (30) and Gilly (13)were sent in and repeated their 1st match performance with a 43 run partnership - FINE CREDIT! Hugo (15) and Norris (21) also repeated their 1st match performance with a 36 run partnership – FINE CREDIT!

The winning formula was undeniable.

Billy (4) and Singer (1) – PARTNERSHIP FINE! for failing to repeat their 1st match performance!

Nads (43) and Gristle (28 not out) took the total from 84 to 155 thus taking the match away from the Polar Bears who never had a hope against the Fatherses TIGHT BOWLING:

The Mayor 3 for 8 (+22 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Gilly 3 for 9 (+4 run contribution for The Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Gristle 2 for 6 (+22 run contribution for the Fathers IN A SEMI FINAL!)
Billy The Kid 2 for 13 (-8 run contribution – FINE!)
Hugo 2 for 26 (-11 run contribution – FINE!)
Nads 1 for 18 (+25 run contribution and MAN OF THE MATCH!)
Singa 1 for 21 (-10 run contribution – FINE!)
Norris 1 for 32 (-11 run contribution – FINE!)

All players and spectators were FINED several times. There was chatter and banter about SITTERS and NUMPTIES! THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING!

Billy raced into the night in the super turbo Nissan time machine leaving two 50m strips of blazing fire in the WICC car park vista. The Fathers knocked back beers laced with lime and inhaled low fat crisps. Nads could be in trouble next week... Nadette???? Nadulina????

BRING ON THE GRAND FINAL!!!

WICC Finals Draw

The Founding Fatherses late season rally of 5 wins in 6 matches has resulted in a FINALS BERTH.

The road to glory:

1st Elimination match 5:30pm Tuesday 8 September 2009 versus the Fifth Place C-Grade team.

2nd Elimination match 6:50pm Tuesday 8 September 2009 versus the LOSER of the Second versus Third place qualifying match.

Our 3rd Finals match will be the Preliminary Final against the LOSER of the First place team versus the winner of the Second versus Third place qualifying match. (5:30pm 15 Sept 09)

Our 4th Finals match will be the Grand Final where we will beat whoever we are up against and regain the coveted WICC Champion of The World crown. (8:10pm 15 Sept 09)

Eligible FFCC Finals players:
1. Nads
2. Norris
3. Harmie (although 5:30 and 6:50 matches aren't great for Harmie)
4. Itchy (unavailable due to knee)
5. Choco (we may get one or two games out of this battle weary senior leadership group member)
6. Gilly
7. Gristle
8. Hugo
9. Singer
10. The Mayor
11. Billy the Kid
12. Madman (unavailable - gone fishing)

Please indicate your availability to play in either/both of the 1st and 2nd elimination matches next week at 5:30pm and 6:50pm.


Last Night double Header Results:
1. Narrow Loss to the B-Grade 4th place side; 2. Run chase of the century to knock off the top of the table C-Grade team - Freaky left early and missed the fracas - FINE!

The Smashing of the Scorpion

Penguin Books - AUGUST 2009

Prologue
This book is dedicated to the Founding Father of Gilly: Keith Scarlett,
who sadly slipped away not long after the Fathers made it four straight on
their inexorable march to greatness (again).

Chapter 1 – The Coin Toss
The winning chemistry comprised old and new with two original match
Founding Fathers (KEVIN! and Freaky) dusting off their old boots and
coming out of retirement to join FFCC debutant Sidney in the traditional
pre-match baggy tie dye ceremony. Nads handed the newcomer his baggy tie
dye with all the pomp and ceremony deserving of a young man who had dreamt
of this moment from early days and who’d worked hard to crack into the
championship squad “Here ya go mate, try not to f@ck it up”. Norris
quietly marked the occasion with a bit of chemistry that sent dozens out
the front door for fresh air.

With that the 8 strong Fathers promptly lost the coin toss, were sent into
field, and the WICC C-Grade wrecking ball went quickly through their
drills of wind sprints, shoulder charges and a mid pitch yoga
visualisation session.

Captain Nads tossed the ball to Hugo and the batsmen could only dodge and
snick their way to seven runs. Singer followed suit taking a wicket with
the 12th delivery of the match and from there the floodgates opened.

Chapter 2 – A Legend is Born
Debutant Sidney’s first FFCC wicket came after he had returned to his mark
to bowl his sixth delivery and the batsmen ran themselves out trying to
pinch an extra. (Nice work Nads!) Sidney finished off his first over on
a hat trick taking 3 for -7 earning himself a White Feather FINE! and a
legend was born. Freaky felt a bit sorry for the beleaguered batsman and
gifted a few consolation runs and they trudged off with 32 on the board.

KEVIN! took the ball in hand allowing 16 runs to a couple of dangerous
looking batsmen. Captain Nads turned to secret weapon Norris who settled
things down with a first ball wicket. Hugo continued the theme taking 2
for -1 (finishing with 2 for 6) and earned himself a FINE! for failing to
take the hat trick. Gristle‘s first ball bouncer had the batsman
wondering if he should strap his box across his face. He was out caught
next delivery and then Gristle bowled him purely for insult value. They
slinked away with only 19 runs for the partnership.

Singer was scintillating in his second over taking 1 for 0 and finished
with the tidy figures of 2 for 7. Freaky kept up the pressure with 2 for
9 and Nads finally inserted himself into the attack allowing just 6 runs.
Norrisseses returned figures of 2 for 12 and his second over concluded
with a Gristle stumping. The batsmen were displeased - just 20 runs for
the partnership.

Chapter 3 – Endangered Species
Things never got better for the Scorpions who were unable to add to their
total of 71 with the fourth partnership. KEVIN! dusted them up with 1 for
2 and then Sidney, who failed to take the hat trick (FINE!) took 2 for 0
finishing with match best figures of 5 for -7. Gristle took a couple more
wickets to finish with 4 for -8 with all his wickets coming from the same
bunny batsman. Nads finished them off with 1 for 3 prompting the crowd at
the WICC to start the Mexican wave.

Chapter 4 – The Foreskin Wins
The Fathers chased 72 runs for victory. They came in the 7th over off the
bat of debutant Sidney.
Freaky (16) and Singer (21 not out) saw off the openers with a skin
winning partnership of 37.
Norris (22) smashed and overhead full toss for nine “it was right in my
slot” and Sidney (16) would have been not out if Norris hadn’t run him
out. Skin 2 safe in hand.
Nads (21) had a bit of trouble with a stumping in his first over which was
attributed to his skulling of a light beer before taking strike in the
middle. Gristle (33 not out) hit a seven “by accident” and thus earned
Man of the Match honours with a net +ve contribution of 41. Three skins
and counting.
Hugo (11) and KEVIN! (5) were entertaining and earned the skin comfortably
despite some “experimental” running between wickets.
Founding Fathers - 145.
FOUR SKINS AND A WIN AND THE FOUNDING FATHERS JUGGERANAUT ROLLS
MERCILESSLY ON!

Epilogue
The beers in the car park were sensational and the Fathers went hard late
into the night. Next week we’ll be tipping one in memory of Keith. Come
one, come all.

Founding Fathers run amok in double header double victory

A slick, six man Founding Fathers outfit ran amok in C-Grade at the WICC

this evening smashing the competition to smithereens.

"We were smokin' with the bat tonight" said Captain Nads (7 wickets) who
amassed 84 runs and took a scorcher in the nether regions from an over
exuberant Singer. "And with the ball, well, Norrisses' 12 wickets were
simply mesmerisering." Norris was out just the once for his 45 runs.

"When you've got blokes like Gilly who can deliver the goods with the
gloves and bat in four partnerships and bowl 5 overs you really don't need
8 players." Gilly quietly compiled 57 runs and took 7 wickets with a
clever combination of slightly over pitched deliveries and double
bouncers.

Harmy certainly didn't disappoint either with a plethora of boundaries in
74 runs and 5 wickets including a spectacular stint as part time
wicketkeeper.

Singer was the pick of the fielders and also blazed away for 72 runs with
the bat. He was unlucky with the ball taking just the two wickets. But
the batsman had no interest in seeing Singer bowl the extra overs and the
same was true of the blistering paceman Hugo who only took the one wicket
but was prolific with the bat tallying 63 runs.

The C-grade cellar dweller Founding Fathers SIX accounted for top four
side Polar Bears 209 - 92. The Fathers backed that up with a 184 - 146
victory over the top of the table Dwayne Leverock Spastic Association
Lookalikes and siezed the moment with a couple of settlers while enjoying
the batting. The Fathers have hit a rich vein of from at the business end
of the season and have declared finals intent beating three top four sides
in as many matches.

"I think six is just about right" Norris said to the press gallery after
the double header double victory. "If you look at the style of cricket we
are playing right now I think the extra two players may cramp us up a
bit." "Besides, the beers go a bit further in the carpark - the rest of
the blokes are a bunch of pooftas and are barely fit to carry the drinks"

Singer kindly offered to ice Nadses bollocks in the carpark to a chorus of
rauccous laughter and beer boy Nads barely crept away into the evening
esky (and jewels) intact.

Bilbys hand out some punishment

Six little Fathers went out one day;
Over a car park far away;
Little Bilby said SMACK-SMACK-SMACK-SMACK
And none of the Founding Fathers came back
...from Encampment.Confirmed Encampment so far:
Snorkey
Norris
Nads
Itchy
Cheezy
G-NAT
Harmie (Saturday)
Gilly


Contenders:
Hugo
Billy
Gristle

Long Shots:
Gladdy
KEVIN!
Freaky
Our Kylie

And many others...

Little Bilbies 240 - Founding Fathers 113
Norris lost the toss and it didn't get any better.
Itchy top scored with 18 and Harmie hit 35 in his second dig.
Norris 16
The Mayor 16
Nads first dig 15
Harmie first dig 14
Gilly 1
Nads second dig -2

The bowling and fielding was pretty miserable. Nobody had positive figures except Harmie batting twice and taking 3 for 41 from three overs. But his regulation innings was -14. Itchy was hands down Man of the Match. A respectable -4 with 1 for 22 from his first two overs and Cheezy was ONLY -5 It got worse from there... Nads -8, Gilly -26 Norris -22. The Fathers only took 10 wickets with big gaps in the field. Nads was on a hat trick but... FINE!. Nads got out off three consecutive balls faced... DOUBLE FINE!!! Harmie got the dressing down (FINE!) Cheezy the sitter (FINE!) Harmie no ice (DOUBLE FINE!!!)

IT WAS ALL GOOD IN THE CAR PARK!

LOCK IN ENCAMPMENT FRI 19 JUNE - SUN 21 JUNE!!

Out Now!

G-NAT TOP SCORES FOR THE FATHERS!

On a night that will be remembered mostly for Carpark Festivities, G-NAT took Man of the Match Honours Top Scoring for the Fathers and marking a new era of up and coming young talent from deep within the FFCC Grassroots.

The night will also be remembered for the valiant effort of seven warriors that battled late into the night covering the gap left by Hugo (late withdrawl) and Gristle who failed to heed the cry for help.

The Fathers posted 121 and held Festers Jesters to only 34 after the first two partnerships with brilliant bowling and fielding and covered the abyss left by Hugo and Gristle. But in the end, the gap proved costly and the Jesters snuck home. Did the Fathers drop their shoulders? No way. Was it over when the Russians bombed Pearl Harbour? Absolutely not. The body language reigned supreme.

The G-NAT top scored with 23 in a 37 run partnership with Madman (14) after The Mayor (20 not out) and Itchy (4) opened the Fatherses account. Norris (22) and Gilly (16) set the bar with a workmanlike, near chanceless effort. Norris was picked to bat for Hugo (0) and/or Gristle (0) and added another 19 runs in a partnership of 22 with Nads (heaps). 121 flashed on the scoreboard and the mexican wave flashed around the ground.

In the field Itchy set about establishing the centre of excellence at point and busied the scorers all evening and the chants of "Caught Itchy, Bowled Norris" reverberated through nearby weston creek suburbs. Captain Nads (aka "Nans" or "Nana" for short) secured the centre of senility in the back corner waking from his short kip after a noice cuppa to take a hat trick thus earning a much sought after Fine Credit for the upcoming Encampment Season.

Itchy failed to take the hat trick (FINE!) and earned a Grey Feather FINE! also. Madman and Gilly missed the coin toss (FINE! each) as did Hugo and Gristle (MORE FINES!) Norris chipped in with a White Feather FINE! and Itchy took out the SITTER (FINE!) trying to pin a catch to the net with his back.

Gilly displayed extreme agility and guile behind the wicket and was best in the field. The Captain's dressing down went to Itchy (FINE!)

Itchy returned to the indoor form of the game groin intact picking up where he left off taking 4 for 0. Nana wasn't far behind with 4 for 5 and the remaining wickets were shared between Cheezy (2) Madman (2) Norris (2) Gilly (1) and G-Nat (1).

Carpark

No beer survived. Not even the Rohipnol Beer.

Shirt Muster

WE NEED SHIRTS - Snorkey, Choco, Gristle. Cough em up!

Winter Encampment

IT'S ON. MORE TO FOLLOW. LOCK IN THE MONTH OF JUNE!

Next Weeks Match

9:30pm - throw your hat into the ring! Beers in the carpark from 9pm.

The honeymoon is over. The WICC is back to four time slots: 5:30, 6:50, 8:10, and 9:30.

Super Sub Harmie Blasts 55

Man of the Match Harmie blasts 55 in whitewash FFCC Victory!

The skills were on display when Harmie (55) and Madman (33) opened the batting for The Fathers after a target of 101 was set. Harmie was run out just the once and hit 44 runs off nine deliveries in the final stage of his innings. (five x 7's and 2, 4, 3, dot). Pure genius. And Madman chipped in with a 7, couple of 5's and a couple of 4's. On almost any other night he's Man of the Match.

Mick Cheese (25) and Norris (11) rubbed it in. In only the fifth over if the run chase, Norris (who headed into the match as Reigning Man of the Match) struck a lovely cover drive into the nets (2) to take The Fatherses total to 102. In the outside version of the game, we would have been heading to the carpark at nigh on 9:15.

Billy the Kid (18) deftly left behind a wagon wheel of runs in a 15 run partnership with G-Nat (heaps).

Nads (37) was sublime and G-Nat backed up with a second innings effort of 14. FFCC Total 190.

The Fathers shared the wickets in an exemplary night in the field with 6 catches, 7 run outs, 1 stumping (Harmie) and 1 bowled (Norris). There was an extraordinary 29 dot balls bowled through tight bowling and lightning quick reflexes in the field.

The Fathers WERE ON FIRE!!! Nads probably claimed half the wickets in usual disarray. Sadly, Choco re-tired hurt after bowling 6 deliveries (1 for 3) and moving a yard to his right straining his calf. Sidelined for possibly 3-4 weeks.

FINE to Mick Cheese for the Sitter, FINE each to Harmie and Madman for failing to take the hat trick.

It was all good in the carpark with The Mayor on beer duty. One screaming car of hoons, one police car rolled on by and Billy slinked off into the night (Bic Mac at the Maccas drive through) as quiet as a mouse in his turbo charged rocket.

Next Week 7:20pm

1. Nads (Captain)

2. Norris

3. Madman

4. Mick Cheese

5. G-Nat - Beer Duty (Welcome on board G-Nat)

6. Gilly (please confirm availability)

7. Itchy (please confirm availability)

8. Hugo (please confirm availability)

Unavailable - Harmie, Billy, Choco, Gladdy, Kevin, Snorkey

Possible Subs - Gristle, Freaky, Our Kylie, Gladdy

A message from your Admin captain

FFCC Brew Unveiled

And so it came to pass that the phenomenon that is the FFCC was immortalized in beer.

The legendary brewer Madman not only brewed liquid gold but designed the FFCC label to accompany it. Might be time to give up the fish business Madman and make the move into full time brewing.

NB: click on image for large version.

FFCC Demerit Point System

First published 11 September 2006

Demerit Point System

Due to severe captain consternation/constipation last season regarding the selection of finals series Founding Fathers, (and to add robustness to the Fathers "fines" system) we are instituting the Founding Fathers Demerit Point System. It is simple and easy to track because otherwise would be a nightmare. The Demerit Point System rewards commitment and form. Selection for finals matches (when we make the final again) will be based on your demerit point ranking. It may seem harsh but that's just tough luck.

The rules:
1. Members start the season with 100 pts.
2. Miss a game without notice*: -50 pts
3. Become unavailable on short notice**: - up to -30 pts
4. Turn up late (after the coin toss): -25 pts
5. Beer boy doesn't bring beer (slab): - 100 pts
6. Beer boy brings beer but it isn't on ice: -50 pts
7. Fail to make good membership fee when due: -25pts
8. Best Batsman each game: +25pts
9. Best Bowling figures each game: +25pts
10. Bring Cheer Squad: +5 pts per person
11. Sub in late for an unavailable starter: +10 pts
12. Turn up to barrack even though you are in the reserves: +5 pts
12. Attend bye "practice session": +10 pts
13. Fail to attend bye "practice session": -10 pts
14. Attend encampment weekend***: +50 pts
15. Fail to attend encampment weekend: -50 pts
16. Undertake gender reassignment (as determined by your peers): -50pts

* You need to SMS my mobile if you are named in the starting 8 but can't play.
** The longer you leave it, the greater the demerit value (Stinz's "sliding scale" rule: Monday:- 10, Tuesday: -20, Wed (before noon): -30). If you advise you can't play (by SMS) before the regular Sunday e-mail then zero demerit points. 12pm each Wed is the cut off or its -50 pts.
*** TBC - long term planning on this - late Feb/early March 07 is the go - lock it in.
Notes:
A. Special circumstances will be considered though membership vote (one vote per member). Where there is a tie the Captain has discretion.
B. If you miss a game without notice, after your next game in the car park (beer in hand) you must also sing (beginning to end) "Advance The Founding Fathers" (sung to the tune of you know what) to avoid a further - 50pts.

Fathers smash the Partridge Family

The Partridge Family is an American television sitcom about a widowed mother and her children who embarked on an encampment career and took up the sport of indoor cricket. The family lived in Weston Creek, a not so quiet Canberran suburb. They enjoyed moderate success in the 1970s but, in the end, body language got the better of them.

The Partridge Family's biggest hit came in the first over when they smashed The Mayor for 22. Chuck Norris reigned them in with a match turning 2 for 5 while singing "I Think I Love You" (lyrics), with deliveries that began climbing in September and peaked at Number 1 last night at the WICC.

Wearing a pretty black and pink floral dress with shoe-string straps and his hair in a soft, wavy bob, MVP Our Kylie said he would perform a specially crafted set list, different to that of his current KylieX2009 world tour. His deliveries were all little beauties and the Partridge Family went for chance after chance falling 4 0UT for just the one run. Our Kylie's guests, including politicians, A-list actors, musicians and the Dubai royal family, will be treated to a $A6.58 million fireworks display lighting up the entire WICC car park.

Gilly and Freaky sealed the win with tight, looping, delicious deliveries and Captain Nads was pleased. Gladdy was unable to bowl after failing to remember to powder his shoulder (Rule 16) just before the match. Gilly and Freaky lifted taking several wickets with more tight, looping, delicious deliveries and Captain Nads was pleased.

The Partridge Family tried feebly to rebound.

Revival Failures

Late in the second partnership, The Partridge Family answered with two different made for TV movies aired on different networks; Come On Get Happy: The Partridge Family Story and The David Cassidy Story .

While both the 2nd and 3rd parntership movies were criticized by Nads and Freaky as being inaccurate, they did recreate imagery of bouncing deliveries and misqueued, off-key discontent in the P Family camp.

In the fourth partnership, Sub In Beer Boy Itchy Bon Jovi spanked poor little David Cassidy for a HAT TRICK (FINE CREDIT!!!) and the P Family was Livin on a Prayer.

Partridge Family Washed Up

The Fathers ripped it up in the second innings with Itchy(5) and Norris(6) setting the platform and Gilly (+/- 0) and Freaky (steady) built on it. The Mayor (27) and Gladdy (nudge those heatseekers lightly back down the pitch for 1) raised the bar yet again and eased the workload for Nads(controversial 7) and Our Kylie (FFCC Season High 46) and the amber liquid gold flowed in the car park. There were about a thousand FINES.

HARMIE LIFTS INTENSITY WITH WHITELINE FEVER - SPARKS FATHERS UPSET VICTORY

Key FFCC all rounders Harmie and Norris singlehandedly blasted the Founding Fathers back into B-Grade with an unprecedented display of intensity, guile and skill in a seesawing Tuesday Night clash of the WICC titans.

Even before the match started, comeback kid Norris sensed something special already in train, with whispers of encampment and hushed rumours of early entrants to the annual Nuggan baking contest. Arriving after the coin toss, Norris (FINE!) received the Death Stare from Captain Itchy normally reserved for his unwitting batsmen counterparts. Itchy was in transmit mode: "If you want to be a part of this team then you need to LIFT SOLDIER!" When late sub Harmie (FINE!) (for Nads (FINE!)) asked if it was true that he missed the toss Itchy didn't miss a beat "YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
Billy the Kid was in full on yoga mode, Choco was running internal diagnostics on hammys, calves, back, neck, elbow - check. Gilly was handing out early chrissy pressies, Madman was warming up with three bats and Cheezy was relaxed with a heart rate of minus 24 beats per minute. The scene was set.

Itchy had lost the toss and the modern gurus looked to take advantage of a sticky wicket sending the Fathers in to bat. Cheezy (18) and Choco (21 not out) quietly set about their business in almost surreal conditions turning over the strike with masterful skill. The WICC went quiet and the gurus looked puzzled and miffed. The battle of the body language had begun. The Fathers were on top.

Itchy recalculated and needed no manifesto. With his undeniable ability to size up a situation and unrivalled indoor cricketing brain, Itchy sensed it was time to put the foot down, nail the lid shut and go for the kill. Gilly (25) and Norris (24 not out) had answers to all of the gurus questions. Itchy and Gladdy cajoled and ranted at the back of the net. The gurus shoulders drooped. Norris and Gilly played their shots: immaculate cover drives and cuts, flat batted slogs down the ground, masterful square drives, and regulation snicks into the back net. The gurus were wicketless until the penultimate ball when a minor brain seizure caused Gilly to misinterpret a shout of NO!!!! to RUN LIKE HELL GILLY!!! It didn't matter. It could happen to anyone. 49 was on the board and the minstrels rejoiced. The Encampment schedule of major events was pencilled in.

Itchy (21) and Billy the Kid (13) carried on the theme with the bat not surrendering a wicket until the 29th ball of the partnership. And again on the 30th ball. And again on the 31st ball. THAT'S A FINE!
But the steady 34 run premiership partnership lifted the Fathers tally to 120 set the platform for the open the shoulders partnership. There were FFCC high fives, pats on the back, and the odd gentle stroke of encouragement on the unsuspecting bottom. (Snorkey was pleased!)

Itchy had saved his impact players for last. Little did he know what an impact they would have. With the delivery of the first ball of the 14th over, the destiny of the Founding Fathers changed irreversibly when Harmie (26) was given out by Cro-Magnon Man Umpire caught behind off his arse. Harmie went through all the emotions. First disbelief, then shock, then disconsolate sorrow, then ROAD RAGE!! There was pacing, finger pointing, hand waving, shoulder shrugging and bottom patting. Harmie was spewing. He gave it to the umpire, he gave it to the wicket keeper and when silly mid off piped in Harmie threatened to take his head of with the next short, widish delivery. Madman (21) remained focussed and urged his partner to stick to the task at hand. Itchy hollered "Settle down Harmie!" Norris bellowed "GET ANGRY HARMIE!" And the next delivery was despatched for 7. But the controversy didn't end there with Harmie back chatting the ump and anyone in his path while stroking another lovely 7 and a bitchin' 5 through the off side.

When the smoke cleared, the scoreboard flashed 169. The gurus looked up in disbelief and trudged off the ground, knuckles dragging. The fit and formidable Founding Fathers took to the field with aplomb quickly going through their routine of organised wind sprints, catch and throw drills, and a mid pitch visualisation yoga session.

The Founding Fathers juggernaut rolled onwards from the first delivery of the gurus innings. Cheezy opened taking 2 for 1. The pressure mounted on the batsmen. Madman followed up with a mixture of short and full length deliveries taking 1 for 4. The gurus were in trouble. Norris was on queue with 2 for -3. The gurus were searching within. Choco taunted and deceived taking 2 for 0. The Fathers turned their minds to the car park. The gurus bickered and squabbled amongst themselves.

Itchy took the ball in hand. 0 for 16. Harmie tossed it up. 0 for 29. Madman pitched it in short leaving the batsmen no width. 0 for 11. Gilly bowled his dibbly dobblers. 0 for 26. The 81 run partnership had turned the match. Those Fathers out in the car park putting the final details into the encampment strategy quickly finished their beers and raced back to the ground.

Billy the Kid settled the nerves. 1 for 10. Norris bowled with wide cunning and guile. 1 for 5. Gilly bowled more of his dibbly dobblers. 0 for 21. Choco was pleased. 1 for 13. A 48 run partnership - the Gurus needed only 41 runs for victory in the final partnership. The Gurus had their tails in the air. The Fathers were dismissive. Paddy O'Gladdy ranted on the sidelines.

Many Captains of the modern game have crumbled under the weight of pressure that a run chase can create. Careers have been destroyed. Indeed lives have been lost. At the moment the final guru partnership entered the ground, souls were being searched. How could this be? How could the unlosable match be slipping away? The Founding Fathers looked to their Captain for insight, strength and belief. What they saw was a giant of a man, a tower of strength, 100% pure valour. Itchy: "Give the ball to Harmie." Norris: "Ummm, Itchy... excuse me sir... did you know that 7 plus 7 equals 14?" Itchy: "Did you say something to me punk? Did you punk? YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH IN THE CARPARK!"

The Captain was vindicated. Harmie's first ball deceived the batsman so badly that he managed to run out his partner. And then he ran him out again next ball. Then a dot ball (FINE!). Then a catch and a run out off the last two balls of the over (FINE!) (Note: Harmie remains eligible for a FINE CREDIT if he takes a wicket off his first ball in his next match) (Note Note: FINE CREDITS are not redeemable under any circumstances). 4 for -18. Harmie had turned the match. The Fathers body language rallied. Norris was uncertain of his future. From there it was Billy: 0 for 11, Itchy: 2 for 12 and Cheezy: 1 for 18.

The Fathers revelled in back to back victories under Captain Itchy. The car park beers and chips and nuts suffered annihilation. The body language was supreme. Encampment seemed only days away.

FFCC vs ‘Kerwin’s Mob’

Tuesday 10 February 2009

A close game at last! The six man Father’s outfit battled hard and snuck through to steal the vital runs in the last over!

141 runs to 139.

Best FFCC batsman: Cheese: 1/25
Best FFCC Bowler: Cheese 5/3
MVP: Cheese - +22