Fathers snatch victory in 400 run thriller#

What a difference a week can make.

With the specter of Norris taunting their lack of victories in his absence the boys took to the field at the ‘creek’ last night full of resolve and determined to put right the wrongs of the past fortnight. The Fathers were up against it from the off with the late withdrawal of ‘Our Kylie’ and the second week no show of ‘Kermie’*.

The Fathers opposition were a wily crew who won the toss and elected to throw the bat around first. They showed they meant business from the off with a solid first over producing ten runs. The Fathers realized they were up against it and gave it their all. Unfortunately the six man Fathers outfit with Matt the ringer couldn’t contain the skilled batsmen of McSnafu who flashed the willow time and again and finished with a massive 199 runs amassed. Standout bowlers were hard to find however special mention needs to go to Gilly, Roscoe and Hugo for keeping the carnage down a bit. Itchy was his usual mercurial self in the field and broke the stumps and effected amazing run outs and catches time and again^.

Nads, in his capacity as captain, threw caution to the wind and put Gladdy and Itchy together as the opening pair. After a shaky start the boys took apart the McSnafu bowling attack. A couple of dubious run out decisions had Itchy climbing the ladder into the umpire gantry to express his disapproval. Once security personnel restored order to proceedings the game continued and Itchy and Gladdy poured on a 58 run stand. Having softened up the opposition with a display of power hitting, both of the ball and of opposition players, Itchy and Gladdy trooped off pleased with their evenings work.

Next in were Roscoe and Hugo. Cover drives, slogs and teasing cut shots were just a few of the masterful strokes they produced during their superb innings of 63. Roscoe played so well in fact he pulled a Chocco and did something nasty to his calf. Fortunately for him he has 20 days to recover until he next needs to don the tie dye. Other highlights of their innings together included Hugo nearly clearing up the bowler and one of the fielders by following through a little to heartily on his running between the wickets and Roscoe actually breaking the wickets in half at the other end with a powerful straight drive.

With two pairs down the Fathers were looking the money with 121 runs accumulated. Up stepped the ringer Matty and Gilly to have a crack. Despite having assured us he could ‘hold his own in A-grade’ Matty looked hopelessly lost against the McSnafu attack and despite the best efforts of Gilly the pair started to go backwards. A couple of early dismissals coupled with Matty’s reluctance to run soon saw the proud pair languishing on 3 runs after 3 overs. Gilly fought hard in the fourth and final over but the die had been cast. Disconsolately the pair trooped off with only 13 runs to their names.

The Fathers were now chasing down 199 and with four overs remaining they required 66 runs for victory. The smug McSnafu’s thought it would be funny to make Gilly bat again. His partner was the inscrutable Nads. Under Nads’ steady gaze Gilly was reborn. The middle of his bat clouted the hapless McSnafu bowlers to all four corners of the ground. When Nads got a chance at bat he too picked up the intensity and pretty soon all fielders were holed up as far as legally possible away from the batsmen. For reasons of safety the McSnafu team captain sniveled to the umpire that he’d like to have all of his fielders stay behind the wicketkeeper. The umpire laughed off this request and the Fathers cheered as Nads and Gilly continued to smash the ball at the McSnafu fieldsmen. The first aid tent did a roaring trade in ice packs and compression bandages and by the time the final over came the Fathers were only 15 runs off victory.

McSnafu had held their best bowler back till last, a wily and feisty off spinner who could turn it a mile. But Gilly and Nads were having none of it and charged down the pitch numerous times dispensing their own brand of summary justice. With the sounds of McSnivel weeping and whining in their ears the boys finished up with19 runs in the last over. The Fathers had posted yet another famous victory and finished on 204!!

Post match beers were a revelation. Hugo was good to his word and the Czech and Belgium brews flowed until late into the night. The Fathers present were full of Christmas cheer and the flush of victory. Could it have been any better you ask?

Perhaps……

Best wishes of the season to all the Fathers and their families. Stay safe and see you all in 2008!

#not strictly true - all references including scores and individual performances in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a means by which to fool Norris into thinking we can win without him.

*The disciplinary committee has been informed of these most recent transgressions and Santa may not be visiting either player for some time. Both players have been issued with show cause writs.

^also largely inaccurate

New site feature and message from Norro

G'day boys

Norris has taken advantage of the Fathers message board and has left us all a message.

Click here to view it and leave him a message also.

(You don't need a log on or anything, just type away).

Father's have no beer!!

International Shit Cricket Time (ISCT)

The Father's went down in a thriller this week but more importantly Kermit forgot to bring the beer (even though he was a late scratching) FINE.

DOUBLE FINE for Hugo for not reallocating a new beer boy however the club's beers were a fine replacement. Hugo to replenish Father's funds to cover the steep $2.50 beers that were downed by the four fathers left standing: Itchy, Nads, Hugo & Gladdy.

Back to the game......

The closeness of the match was not reflected in the score (148 v 72) or the losing margin (76 runs). Legend has it a number of poor umpiring decisions and hot blooded fathers keen on replicating the Aussies 20 / 20 match earlier in the night resulted in an “unsatisfactory loss indeed” as claimed by Captain Our Kylie. The captain of the night, Our Kylie was so furious with the teams nonchalance his hot pants were close to tearing (and not from a lack of cricket action of late).

The Captains gripe is well summarised in the following assessment of each father's performance based on a runs scored v runs conceded to provide a net difference .

** Chocco's over bowled by others due stretching too far for his drink during the drinks break. Out for a few weeks it would seem.

The Chocco / Gilly family amassed 53 of the losing margin. Something in the water in Tuggeranong.

The only Father who can hold his head high is Hugo with a positive contribution of 23 and a season best 5 for -11 (FINE CREDIT). His head was quickly lowered whilst scouting for the beer wench. This fine credit should come in handy with the double FINE mentioned previously. This bowling prowess is something usually reserved for the bowling star, Our Kylie but he seemed to have left his bowling prowess in the carpark.

The match started with the Father's sent into bat, and that is where the excitement stopped.

Nad's and Rosco finished with 17 runs, not much to write home about but after being 3/0 after 2 overs the comeback was quite impressive, especially after Spiderman bowling the last over to them who seemed to spring off the nets to get that extra pace.

Gilly and Gladdy faired even worse with a total of 6 after the mandatory 4 overs, with -18 coming from the final over. May have been better to declare after three.

Kylie and Itchy started in spirited fashion with Itchy being surprisingly aggressive with his batting style (again)! The pair amassed 21 after 2 overs but came back to earth with 28 after 4 overs after some dodgy run outs decisions and lucky bowling.

Hugo and Chocco started well with 17 after 2 overs but midway thru 3rd over Chocco's calf blew out and the innings ended in tears for all with only 19 after the allocated 4 overs.

The bowling overall was crap but not as crap as the batting. The highlight in the field being Nad's screaming catches at the back of the court. A sublime effort. However this did not help Hugo on two occasions by missing out on hatricks (FINE, FINE). Itchy and Our Kylie also received (FINE) for missing a hatrick also.

Generally a night to forget. Bring back Norris – the lucky charm!

Next weeks match is at 8.10pm. Team needs some refinement and as such a number of changes have been made, we are going with 2 spinners this week (Kermmy / Our Kylie), pitch is expected to turn:


1. Hugo (For the final match of the year extra special beers will be provided)
2. Itchy
3. Nads
4. Gilly
5. Rosco
6. Kermmy
7. Our Kylie
8. Gladdy

Reserve:
Chocco : wounded
Norris: encampment in USA
Bing: playing in 20 /20

Come on!

Fathers go down by 13 in high scoring thriller

The Coolie Chronicle - 'at the crossroads of Weston Creek'
Wednesday 5 December 2007

The Fathers showed guts last night at the 'Creek' to almost overhaul the huge total of 183 posted by 'Juicy Spam' (JS).

In a night that started out as one in which it looked like nothing right would happen for the Fathers the boys showed true grit and almost pulled off the impossible.

Last night the Fathers bowling and fielding performance could either be described as desperately unlucky or diabolical depending on your point of view. Recent brilliant performances in the field were forgotten as the best bowling the seven man Fathers could muster was Hugo's 4/8 (and that was the best by a long shot!) Catches went down, boundaries went through and run outs were missed aplenty. As Captain Kermie ruefully commented between innings, "this is the bad game we had to have prior to the season proper starting".

As it turned out the pep talk from Kermie prior to the Fathers turning out to bat proved the difference. The Fathers were chasing down a massive total of 183 and with the captain's words of "go for it" and "open up the shoulders' ringing in their ears the opening duo of Hugo and Gilly took the crease. A first ball wicket at Hugo's expense (sorry mate, had to put that in) didn't bode well but the boys withstood the early barrage to put on a respectable 31.

The next pair of Kermie and Itchy had the crowd as nervous as kittens. Itchy's performances with the bat of late had showed promise but he always had the propensity to lose wickets with rash shot making. With Kermie steadying the ship the pair overran the second wicket total of 51 to post 55 (33 - Itchy; 22 - Kermie) and the Fathers looked like they were in with a shot, albeit a long one.

Mash and Roscoe were in next and battled heartily. Some hard hitting was interspersed with bad luck and exceptional 'JS' fielding but the boys rode it out and produced a 26 run stand.

Next in were the debutant Sean and the comeback kid for the seven man Fathers outfit, Gilly. With a huge total of 77 required to win and with the encouraging words of their team mates ringing in their ears they took the pitch. What followed will live long in the annals of Fathers folklore. On debut Sean smashed six sevens for a personal total of 58. Gilly was unlucky (in fairness he didn't have much of the strike!) and the boys eventually came up 13 runs short of the target. It was very heartening for the Fathers to see their opposition start to panic under the pressure as they nearly lost the unloseable match but more importantly it was a shot in the arm for the entire Fathers team who, to a man, had earlier performed way under their normal high standards.

So, even in defeat, the Fathers took something away from the match. The inaugural Kermie captaincy could only be deemed a success. To take a dejected seven man team that have just had 183 posted against them and almost engineer a stunning victory is a great achievement*.

As usual the car park beers flowed, the conversation sparkled and the boys marveled at the angry young men and 4WD 'enthusiasts' who like to cruise the Coolie carpark late at night.

Next week's match will be at 9.10pm. Acting Admin Captain Hugo to advise team roster shortly.

*not great enough though Kermie, as losing captain you're dumped for next week - Hugo to advise.... :-).

Gladdy and his FFCC 'trackie' star in the Alhambra

Read all about the day Gladdy dropped in on Snorky and family in the Alhambra.

FATHERS LAUNCH NEW SUMMER CLOBBER IN WESTON CREEK TIE DYE DRUBBING!!!

WESTON WAXER NOV 2007

Nadses Missus swooned in for only a snippet on the Stinziani Sliding Scale but saw enough and headed home for a kip knowing the Fathers were in control needing just the ten runs from the final 56 deliveries!

The Founding Fathers looked SENSATIONAL in their new tie dyed kit with matching tie dyed headbands. The Fathers looked to take the advantage after winning the toss and electing to take the field imposing their impressive and confronting new look on the unsuspecting Deano's Dropkicks. Captain Deano said after the match "it was an honour to have a crack at some of the biggest names in indoor cricket - those blokes looked bloody impressive in their new clobber - they are the dead set David Beckham's of indoor cricket".

The Fathers chased down the 91 required runs in the tenth over posting 153 and taking four skins and once again were asking serious questions of the WICC standard.

Match Stats, Highlights and FINES!
Itchy opened up the attack for the third consecutive week and proved comfortable in his new role taking 1 for 6 from his first. Captain Norro turned to Itchy to close out the third partnership who were getting away on 42. Itchy shattered the batsman taking 3 for -1 finishing on 4 for 5 and Choco would have been pleased! FINE to Itchy for failing to take the hat trick.
Kermit took 3 for -14 from his first five deliveries (2nd over) and finished with 5 for -4 and best figures of the match but cops a FINE for failing to take the hat trick!
Our Kylie was 2 for -8 from his first three deliveries (4th over) and had Deano's Dropkicks looking deep inside themselves for answers. FINE to Kyles for failing to take the hat trick.
Rosco was 3 for -12 from his first five deliveries but managed to avoid a FINE with precision bowling cleverly allowing a run or two between wickets. Rosco added another wicket from the first ball of his second over taking 4 for 9 for the match.
NADS WAS ON FIRE taking a HAT TRICK (FINE CREDIT!) in the 6th over and had 3 for 4 against his name on the big scoreboard at the end of the night.
Gilly made the most of his time out from behind the stumps with preceision length attacking leg stump and finished with 4 for 0 bowling his man with his first delivery in consecutive matches.
Hugo was lethal and tidy with 1 for 13 from his tow overs.
You'd wonder how they possibly put 90 runs on the board with bowling figures like these but we haven't mentioned Norris and Our Kylies figures yet. Norris had a luckless night surrendering 32 runs for no wicket! Norris and Kylie (2 for 31) handed them 70% of their runs! (FINE TO EACH!)
The Fathers lifted the bar on their fielding - Itchy was on fire at the back net and Gilly ran a tight ship behind the stumps. Honourable mention to NADS for taking out the sitter of the match FINE! in consecutive weeks.

After the short break Norris looked to Gilly (26) and Nads (11) (he likes his sevens!) to open up the Fathers account and 37 runs flowed.
Norris (5) and Rosco (24) added 29 more to the total coming home with a wet sail with 17 in their final over.
Kylie (23) and Kermie (26) were almost chanceless chasing down the 41 run skin and missed the half century partnership by just the one run.
Itchy (35) and Hugo (3) capitalised on a large margin and opened up the shoulders steering the side home to a comfortable victory looking dashing with big strokes and a big moustache (Hugo) (FINE!)

The Father of the Week FINE CREDIT goes to Itchy who dominated in his swirling tie dye in almost cat walk-esque fashion up and down the wicket!

Honourable mention to Hugo for mixing up James Boag Premiums and Pure Blondes with a light beer or two in true Founding Fathers Car Park tradition.

Norris is off to Hawaii next week to scout for talent and Gladdy is a possible starter apparently landing in Sydney tomorrow (confirmed by Snorkey's Missus by Skype this evening.)
(Choco (calf strain) is also a possible starter.) Match time next week is 8:10pm.

Hugo is Acting Admin Captain (Norris can't let go) for the month of December so keep him posted on your availability. The final match of the year is 18 Dec.

Lock in 12 January 2007 for Norro's 40th birthday celebration. All Fathers and their Missusses are invited. (Please note: FINE CREDITS will not be redeemable on the day.)

Love,
Norris

FOUNDING FATHERS LAUNCH NEW CLOBBER TIE DYE STYLE

ROLLING CONE CHRONICLE NOV 07

Nads put the troops through their paces in an official Founding Fathers training session labelling many as "Cowboys" and "Miscreants".

Under the influence of Corona and James Boag there were early whispers of FINES! and all of the BIG NAMES like Itchy and Norris were threatening to hit an early stride.

The tie dye sausage sizzle included Rookie Rowan (drifting left handed offie's, top rhb, amphibious, frog man, Kermit) (Kermit!) Kermit threatened for a backyard hat trick while Hugo attempted to test the tensile strength of roof tops in a nearby suburb.

Its an all Founding Father Cricketing Clobber Christmas in the carpark at 7:30pm on Tuesday when the Founding Fathers officially launch their new Tie Dye look with a settler in the car park. Nicknames are on the shirts and the "baggy beauty" is an absolute classic. Hugo has nominated himself as beer boy - good on ya Hugo!

'07/08 is the summer/cricket season of luuuuurve man....'

"I thought the tie dye shirts would get us killed on their own but these headbands should definitely do the trick"
Some Coward
and to think they said the Backstreet Boys reunion would never work.....Proud FFCC board members pose with their handiwork in the foreground.

Click on images to view LARGER versions.

FOUNDING FATHERS MAKE IT THREE IN A ROW IN THEIR NEW HOME

WESTON INTELLIGENTICA - NOV 2007

The Fathers are now eight and three in their last eleven matches and are asking big questions of the competition after four outings at the WICC. The Fathers blitzed the scene tonight and were never in doubt with their first full complement of eight in several weeks.

Hugo was a late scratch due to light bruising to his left ovary but Debutant Michael stepped up to mix it with the big names scoring a steady 28 not out bringing the Fathers comfortably home by 29 runs with Rosco in the "open up the shoulders" partnership.

Norris called on Itchy to open the bowling in consecutive weeks after sending in the Roo Dogs to their fate. Itchy declared early intent bowling his man with only his fourth delivery. In yet another miserly performance after taking 8 wickets last week from three overs Itchy taunted the batsman taking 2 for 13 and creating plenty of chances. Inspired, Norris took the ball in hand send sent down a few menacing balls but surrendered 14 runs to the total and the Roo Dogs were on 24 after just two overs.

Norris was tempted to look to Nads earlier than planned but decided to have a look at Debutant Michael and ran the risk of testing uncharted territory. Mick was wayward nervously to the left and then to the right with his first two deliveries but followed them with a beautiful quick ball full on middle stump. Norris cast his mind back to the Debutant Old Crow smashing over the stumps with his maiden delivery. But Mick was less fortunate and the batsman dug it out and they continued to rally putting on 13 in the over. The ball was thrown to Nads who loosened up and threatened with short pitched deliveries and the batsman could only cut and turn one's and two's taking the opening partnership to a daunting 51.

Rosco and Mash swung the match back to the Fathers taking 2 for -3 and 1 for 0 respectively. Rosco was tricky and clever causing his batsman to hit his wicket two deliveries after being run out. Left Handed China Man Rowan dazzled and was unlucky with the Fathers missing a couple of great chances and the partnership rallied to 15. Gilly came out from behind the stumps and reinstated the Fathers dominance bowling his man with his first delivery and surrendering only 3 from the over.

The new batsman weren't happy after Rowan carried on the theme taking 3 for -3 finishing on a hat trick (FINE!) The next delivery from Nads was the third catch in a row and The Fathers took a TEAM HAT TRICK (TEAM FINE!) Nads bowled a bloody scorcher of an over taking 3 for -8 and suddenly the Roo Dogs were staring at their bootlaces and swinging like hookers at a wife swapping party. Mick and Gilly kept it tight for the final two overs of the partnership. Mick was unlucky to not take a wicket but Gilly was masterful adding another two of his three wickets for eleven with a stumping (Norris) and cleverly fooling the batsman into interfering after a mistimed bobble then taking a second shot knocking the ball away from a pouncing wicketkeepr. Norris pleaded "how's that!" and the umpire agreed raising his finger to the chagrin of the Founding Fathers fieldsman. Gilly could barely contain his pleasure and Norris sledged the foolish batsman with a rather unsportsmanlike reference to his obvious display of dim-wittedness not to mention the odd reference to his unfortunate fish-like piquance. And off they trudged for a paltry 10 runs.

Mash kept it to a tidy 8 in the first over of the final partnership. Norris surrendered 13 and Itchy and Rosco brought it home and a very gettable chase of 127 was set for the in form Founding Fathers.

In a break of tradition Norris called upon Red Hot Nads to open the Fathers account with usual opener Gilly. Nads took all the pressure off despite losing three wickets for his top scoring 38 runs including four 7's and a 5 in a 56 run, skin winning partnership with Gilly. Nads was the hands down man of the match with best bowling figures of 3 for 6. On ya Nads you bloody ripper!

Rowan and Norris further eased the pressure in another skin winning stand of 35; Rowan backing up last week's 38 with a daring and confident 23. Mash and Itchy kept things interesting bringing the account to 119 after the premiership partnership. Debutant Micko (28) and new lifetime Founding Father Rosco ($100 is locked in!) took the lead and regained it twice thereafter coming home with wet sail and the Fathers won by 29 runs.

Nads was awarded sitter of the match (FINE!) by the Captain and there was much rejoicing with beer in a bushland carpark setting.

Next week its an 8:10pm match and Our Kylie has nominated himself to come in for part timer Debutant Mick. If anyone else can't play let me know because Hugo will be keen to play since next week is his turn to umpire the 6:50pm match (Hugo - you probably weren't aware that we have to volunteer one umpire at the WICC each week - next week is your turn!)

Breaking News - Saturday election day BBQ sausage sizzle Tie Dye party in Norris' backyard from 10:30am - 1:00pm. The new Fathers' clobber is gettin' tie dyed so bring the family and be prepared to have a beer and a sausage and don't be afraid to step up to the microphone to convince your friends and family who they should vote for! (Itchy - you can sing Bon Jovi if you want.)

Love Yous All
Norris

Oh ya - Gilly kicked in $100, and Rowan, Mick and Mash $15 each. The Founding Fathers accounting systems are transparent - stand up to the most severe scruitiny.

SOMETIMES FIVE ARE BETTER THAN EIGHT

founding fathers / fowndin fawthas/, n. 1 cavalier dominance. 2 supreme masculinity.

Rowan (38) and Itchy (8 wicket haul) sealed the fate of the Golden Schmucks.

The other three Founding Fathers that bothered to turn up didn't do too badly either.

Tony joined in the fracas.

We smashed em. All 8 of em.

Itchy and Choco - $100 in - on ya. $15 (Rowan) and $10 (Rosco) (Next time its $15 bucks Rosco you cheap arsed rookie - FINE!)
Choco - thanks for batting twice - I reckon the no shows owe you a beer.

SOMETIMES FIVE ARE BETTER THAN EIGHT

Next Week: (dunno what time)
1. Gilly - beer
2. Rosco
3. Nads
4. Norris - captain
5. Itchy
6. Rowan
7. ?
8. ?

If you aren't named above and can play let Norro know by SMS!!!!

Fathers take down 'Kerwin's mob'

The Coolie

In only their second dig at the all new Cooleman Court Indoor Cricket Centre the Fathers came, saw and conquered.

After losing the toss and being sent into bat the opening partnership of Gilly (20) and Gladdy (25) got the Fathers off to a good start, an unentertaining but workmanlike 45 from the boys.

The second pairing of Norris (26) and Rowan (8) entertained from the off and after losing a few wickets came back with aplomb to post a respectable 34.

Choco (6) and Nads (21) came in next and battled old age and incontinence to post a hard won 27.

As usual it was left to Itchy and a bloke he found in the carpark to bring the good ship FFCC home. After 4 overs of blazing bats the smoke cleared and the dazzling partnership had brought a total of 51 additional runs to the Fathers total.

The Fathers had posted 157 and looked invincible.

Now it was time for the Kerwins to have a bat and Captain Norris threw the ball to Itchy with a cry of "you're already warm have a go ya mug".

The big hitting Kerwin's duo were confused by the line, length and sheer pace of Itchy's sustained bowling attack. Once they picked themselves off of the astroturf at the end of he first over they had lost three wickets and were at -3 runs.

The rest of the innings consisted of the usual fathers rubbish. Itchy had set the scene and the Kerwins didn't stand a chance after that.

Oh yeah, one more thing, Itchy had a blinder of a second over as well.

For the record the Fathers (thanks largely to Itchy) won by 46 runs.


For all Itchy interview requests please contact
Martin Jolly
SVP, Managing Director
IMG Sports & Entertainment, Asia Pacific
+852-2894-0288
martin.jolly@imgworld.com

Founding Fathers Conquest Weston Creek Car Park

Roiters - Oct 2007

After years of dominating the Lyneham Indoor Cricket Centre Competition Car Park, a change of scenery for the Founding Fathers is on the cards. The Founding Fathers are in demand and are being courted heavily by rival indoor cricket centre: Weston Creek. Ever since dominating the LCG C-Grade competition and a late season B-Grade surge (and after tonight's thrashing of A-Grade Pumping Booty - match report pending from the comeback kid Our Kylie) the Founding Fathers are being touted as the side that will put Weston Creek back on the Indoor Cricket map of maps.

To their astonishment, The Founding Fathers each recently received a desperate, insulting, money grabbing $4 tax invoice from the new management at the LCG for a new, unannounced, unpredicted and unprecedented membership fee. This looks to have swung the pendulum to Weston Creek who offers lower match and membership fees, licensed refreshment bar overlooking the grounds, bowling machine and a state of the art car park that stretches to the horizon.

Tuesday night is the preferred night for The Fathers and with the "bye" at the LCG next week the Fathers will be dipping their toes in Weston Creek Cricket waters looking to extend their run of recent form and take the WCCG by storm. Match time is to be confirmed but the honourary inaugural WCCG eight are:

1. Captain Kyles
2. Nads
3. Norro
4. Gilly
5. Choco
6. Hugo - beer boy
7. Itchy
8. Gladdy

Reserves
Our Freaky - has announced a possible return due to the change of grounds
Big Kev! - south side man will be EXCITED!
Mick - stuffed tuft
Gristle - on the mend
Carl - awol
Inzy - not able to run as fast as he used to
Snorkey - sipping pina coladas

Notwithstanding the match Tuesday night the LCG Bye on Wednesday means drinks at the Irish Club ($4 pints) from 7:30pm on Wed for a MANDATORY Extraordinary FFCC General Meeting to discuss the merits of the move make important decisions on other important matters (several - encampment, fines, demerit points, corona in the carpark (Gilly!), ladies night out, and much, much more - the list goes on and on...) and of course watch the 7th ODI between Australia and India at Mumbai.

Love yous all,
Norris

Fathers on the receiving end of a 'Canned Haggis' thrashing going down by over 100 runs!

Story to follow soon.

Norris in doubt after freakish domestic nappy changing incident

Canberra Hospital Chronical


The FFCC members can breathe a sigh of relief after x-rays confirmed Norrises In Form 4th toe proximal and middle phalanges remain intact.

It may be several weeks before Norris is back to his usual high level of fitness but there is no doubting that he will be fighting to prove his fitness for next Wednesday's match against the One Run Losers at 8:10pm

In the 8:
Battle Leader - 1. Choco - Captain (Choco is pleased!)
Warrior - 2. Nads
Warrior - 3. Hugo
Warrior - 4. Itchy
Warrior - 5. Mickey
Warrior with nourishment - 6. Gladdy - beer boy
Warrior - 7. Our Kylie
Warrior - 8. Gilly

Weak and Worthless:
9. Norris
10. Gristle
11. Inzy
12. Snorkey
13. Big Kev

Frisky Fathers deliver cricket lesson to NIF - 138 to 71

Far be it to be compared with fiction, once upon a time in a far off galaxy called The NICC, The Founding Fathers found foe in the fabled fearsome and formidable adversary known as the NFI.

An unassuming yet strikingly fearsome figure, Choco was decreed to be Captain of the Founding Fathers. Choco had not held such office beyond that of a warrior - ever.

The first encounter was to be bloody and wretched. Captain Choco mindful of his encumbrance though overtaken by his thirst for blood vacillated over whether to bat in life defence or to bowl at the soon to be bloodless flesh. Choco’s warriors were no strangers to battle. They were feared amongst many. They were finely fit and muscle stretched within their embattled skins. Akin to pack wolves they bayed for blood and vexatiously perused their prey. There would be only one survivor. Choco could only think victory and victory it would be.

The Founding Fathers would Bowl. Whilst formidable too, NFI were quiet. Fear overcame the NFI contingent. The NFI retreated to cast their battle plans and to send in to battle, their lead warriors.

The extreme bowling & fielding capabilities of the Fathers boiled. Fear enveloped the air. NFI though fearful were to feel the immense pressure. Choco smirked almost in acknowledgement of the valiant strains of the NFI, knowing full well, their blood would spill.

3 warriors from the ‘ring-in’ tribe appeared for battle. In gracious acknowledgement, Choco greeted each though expressionless he remained. Another fearsome figure known as Mick appeared from within the mist. Choco knew of the one they called Mick. Mick would be a Father. Mick would now battle frequently. In acknowledgement of this bloody Wednesday night’s performance he would be sworn in as a FFFF [fully fledged Founding Father]

The 3 Ring in warriors were an unknown quantity. Choco had seen little spilt blood of the Fathers and nothing in his mind would change this. Not knowing of the ring-ins skills, Choco was to blood the young warriors & decreed Ben to open the bowling. The opposition were aggressive & were going the whack. Ben started with 0/14, with Norris to follow 2nd up with a steady 1/12. Itchy & Giles (ring-in warrior) further steadied the ship with 1/9 & 1/5 respectively. Choco though motionless and unanimated was pleased.

Choco steadfastly maintained the pressure on the batsmen, Itchy without fear strolled in for his 2nd over with 0/18 with Ed, the umpire; not appreciating Itchy ‘bowling to his field’; Ed called a couple leg side wides. Choco was displeased and his air of nonchalance tripped to one of bridled aggression. Ed was spared. Choco forced through his warriors to take ball. Never quite sure what he might deliver, he thought it might be best to get rid of an over early. True to form, a couple a 2’s amongst a couple of dot balls, a 7 and a wicket (1/9). Chris (ring-in warrior) was then asked to bowl the 7th over. An impressive display of accurate bowling, 2x1 runs, 2 dot balls & 2 wickets for a total of 2/-5. Choco was pleased.

The next major event in this battle could only be described as Choco’s master stroke in his short yet significant career as Captain. Mick was called up to bowl that last over to the 2nd batsmen. The batsmen were clearly starting to crumble under the relentless attack exerted by the Fathers who were now at the top of their game. Mick’s over was devastating. A ball-by-ball account - Wicket, 2, 2, 2, Wicket, Wicket, Wicket, Wicket. A double hat-trick and a ‘Michelle’ in the one over. Clearly a master stroke by the Captain…. and Mick. The captain and Mick wiped away the blood of the victims and exchanged short glances. A short nod was reciprocated. The opposition though were far from conquered and were living up to their reputation - NFI. They clearly had NFI when Mick bowled. The second batting pair made 3 runs. The FF sensed victory at the half way mark. There was more blood to spill.

Gilly was then called upon to maintain the pressure. He delivered the goods with stirling bowling. 4 dots balls. 0/7! Choco was next. “Just hit the pitch – Just the pitch” resounded in Choco’s mind. “No wides” - Don’t be smashed around”. Choco’s mind recoiled. Another steady 0/8. Norris & Chris were then called upon to slaughter the now weakening foe. True to past battles, they did. Each returned figures of 2/1. Overall Norris returned sublime figures of 3/13 & Chris with 4/-4. 3rd pair 17 runs.

The 4th pair strode to the pitch looking awkwardly confident. Choco smiled into space. Choco sensed a befallen prey though remained focussed. Gilly proved that confidence does not necessarily produce runs. Gilly 4/-11. Hat-trick. Overall 4/-4. A fine display from a fully fledged warrior. Mick was now called up for his 2nd over. He was sitting on a triple hat-trick.(it could have been a HUGE fine if he failed to take it). 1st ball wicket. Mick, the master bowler. 5 wickets in a row. Another fine display of pressure bowling. The foes were falling yet remained tempered. This one has been referred to the Official Stats-man. Mick was on a quadruple hat-trick & failed to come through with the goods. Fine or not to fine? Choco was displeased.

Ben & Giles bowled the last 2 overs for 1/9 & 0/12 respectively. NFI total 71 runs. Choco departed his station, hands behind back, contemplated - and quickly returned. Choco drew his scabbard, ran a light finger across the blade and returned the weapon to its home. The scabbard was sharp and effective.

BEN & Giles sent into bat with confidence sky high. The young warriors were intent on scoring the 72 runs by themselves. The warriors made 34 runs, having gone out 5 times. What could have been a top score; the FF still required 38 runs to win. Choco was pleased though the battle was far from over.

Gilly & Itchy were to bat 2nd. The other warriors were hesitant though trusted their leaders’ judgement. The combination teamed together like they’d been in battle together for years. NFI’s total was surpassed mid way through the 7th over. Gilly & Itchy blitzed with a match high 49 runs, with Gilly scoring Best Batter award for his impressive 26 runs.

Norris & Chris batted 3rd for a steady 31 runs. Norris’ beautiful display of control & grace realised 21 runs. Norris’ scabbard too was sharp. The FF were now 43 runs ahead. Choco was pleased.

It was now safe to send in Choco & Mick to bat. A steady 24 runs were made for a total of 138.

A victory to the ‘Fathers” by 67 runs & 3 skins.

NFI were decimated, the pitch was no longer green. The pitch was a sea of blood red. The Fathers had yet again spilled the blood of the enemy.

The Father wolves retreated. Night fell.

Choco gathered his men. Though weary they talked and drank for hours. They talked of

- Itchy’s inability to open a stubby by himself. It must have something to do with “moisturising” his hands whilst reading a book of battle on the battle pitch.

- Confirmation of Norris dropping the ‘SITTER of the match’. And what a sitter it was.

- Mick’s magical bowling effort.

- Possible new warrior name for ‘Gristle’ – Tom Petrovski. Media finance guru.

- Norris’ new ‘fu#*ing huge’ LCD TV. Also, how to blow up your old TV without your wife knowing you ‘tinkered with it’ so you can buy a new TV.

- Hugo, where’s our shirts?

- Choco was fined for batting last when he is Beer Man.

The Fathers retreated with pulchritude.

To his men in parting, Choco murmured – “more blood will spill – go forth, rest and prepare for the blood that will spill shall not be ours nor that of our sons.


Word of the day, a word that can be used to clearly describe the Founding Fathers

pulchritude \PUL-kruh-tood; -tyood\, noun:

That quality of appearance which pleases the eye; beauty; comeliness; grace; loveliness.

Equine Influenza Paves Way For Fathers' Entry to 'A' Grade

In the second grading game for the new season, a six man Fathers outfit humiliated their opponents 228 to 87. Sure their opponents, the GGs (aka the Horsies) only had five players after being decimated by the equine flu, but I think that fact can be ignored. Indeed it is now becoming apparent that six is the optimum manning for the Fathers if recent historical heroics are any indicator.

The Horsies started strongly and were looking like they may push the Fathers after posting 91 runs by the tenth over. They hadn't reckoned with the bowling talents of our Gladdy. Was there some prescient punishment at the forefront of his mind as he demolished the Horsies in the eleventh over? Was his 4 for -19 intended to exact revenge for the "Papa Smurf" sledge that was to come his way later in the game??? Whatever the reason, it was poetry to watch. [Dot ball, Dot ball, ONE (woo hoo!!!), Run out, Caught, Run out, Dot ball, Run out]1 Gladdy earns a fine credit for his hat-trick (and we all know how valuable they are on Encampment weekend).

The Horsies never recovered, particularly after choosing Nads and Carl (we have to get him a nickname) to bowl the extra overs. The Horsies could only return an embarrassing -4 from the last six overs. In the final wash up 87 was a reasonable score, given that some of the Fathers were swinging the ball like bananas. Pity about the control though, eh Itchy!!! [Leg side, Leg side, Wide, Leg side, Two, Leg side, Two, DOT BALL!!!! – (0 for 14)].

All the Fathers ended up amongst the wickets: Gladdy (6 for -20), Gilly (1 for 14), Itchy (2 for 10), Norris (1 for 26), Carl (3 for 27) and Nads, after returning an uncharacteristic 1 for 30 off his first two overs, took 3 for none in the final overs.

The Fathers strode confidently to the crease. Gladdy (18) and Gilly (23) opened, followed by Nads (32) and Norris (16), wiping away the deficit by the eighth over. That signalled to the remaining batsmen that they could "open the shoulders". Carl (20) and Itchy, who it must be said was graced by some fortunate bounces from the nets, (39) took the total to 148.

The Horsies, oblivious to the rich vein of form that Norris (54) had been ploughing since his return from the wilderness, chose him to bat in the last batting pair. He flayed the bowling, taking 9 off a single ball (fine) and hit the back net on the full on three other occasions (surely a record for him). Ain't it a pity (not) that substitute statistics don't count for the record books. Norris was ably assisted by Gilly (26).

Four skins to the Fathers!!!!

Demoralised the Horsies traipsed off the court only to be asked later by the barman, "why the long face???".

1. Provided to satisfy the slaves to statistics that live amongst us. Yep that's you Norris!!!!

Movember

It's coming up soon, it's for a good cause and I think the Fathers should get into it.

Who's with me? This is one for you Snorky! It might help you fit in a bit more in Spain!!

Get your Movember info here.

Get your style tips here.

Special announcement & next match details

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!

FOUNDING FATHERS ENCAMPMENT EARMARKED FOR SATURDAY 24 NOVEMBER (OR 1 DEC?) - ONE NIGHT CONGO EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

Please RSVP to Nads ASAP (I'm in!)


NEXT MATCH
Wednesday 26 September 2007 - 5:30pm THE FORMIDABLE FOUNDING FATHERS VS NFI (Nearly Freakin' Invincible)

NFI will be labelled as misfits after they confront the FORMIDABLE FOUNDING FATHERS on Wed at 5:50pm. The Fathers look like making it 8 wins in 10 matches after coming home with a wet sail last season and barely missing out on the B Grade semi finals. NFI has a fearsome reputation but will unquestionably crumble under the pressure of a superior Founding Fathers outfit. In the last few matches GILLY, ITCHY AND NORRIS have led from the front with well timed jibs and outward cricketing aggression at the likes of GG and AEI.

GILLY can make life worse for a batsman than a red headed, frecklefaced, drunken ex -girl friend at your weddin' to your 3rd missus.

KEVIN! and GRISTLE are also well known for taking on the toughest SLEDGERS in the competition.

And the BALLS NADS BOWLS ARE HUGE!!! NICE BALLS NADS!!!

GLADDY takes nothin from nobody and didn't appreciate the Papa Smurf Jibe (DON'T MESS WITH HIM - HE TOOK 6 for -20 INCLUDING A HAT TRICK!)

CARL pitched in $30 of the required $100, stamping his foot on immortality as a future fully fledged Founding Fathers Formidable InFincible! (Nickname pending...)

(ITCHY kicked in the required $100; $75 in bills and $25 in shrapnel - thaaaaanks maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!)

THE FOUNDING FATHERS PICKED UP 24 POINTS IN TWO WEEKS OF CRICKET AND LEAD THE LADDER AT THE NICC WITH TWO WINS AND ZERO LOSSES AHEAD ON FOR AND AGAINST AND ARE LOOKING CERTAIN OF AN A-GRADE BERTH AND GLORY IN 07/08!

In the 8
1. Itchy
2. Gladdy - Captain and beer boy
3. Norris
4. Hugo
5. Gilly
6. Mick
7. Mash????
8. Anyone???? Choco????

Other possibilities:
Rowan - can he play?
Conga - bored of retirement?
Inzy - how's the ankle?
Kevin! - did you end up amputating the leg?
Our Kylie - the best - absolute legend - soon to return.
Nads - away somwhars next week;
Gristle - soon to return - (four months?)
Snorkey - "I'll be back...

Yuvraj is inspired by Itchy and the super sub Norro

Yuvraj hits six sixes vs England - Twenty20 World Cup Match

"I wouldn't say that if I were you Yuvraj"... - Yeah, great call Geoff.

LATE MAIL - Founding fathers scuttle semis

Editors note: due to an 'administrative error' the match report for the consolation semi on 29 August was not posted to the website until today.

Lynum Lyrical August 2007

The Founding Fathers may not have won the consolation semi - but that is not the "scoop" in a shocking turn of events last night at the National Indoor Cricket Centre. While the FF's opening partnership was establishing a solid footing with no Captain in sight, the text message arrived "Guys - hiding in a cave - won't be able to get there - sorry, Hugo Bin Laden".

Astonishment.

The news quickly spread through the NICC and Brewski's bowling efforts lifted. The Fathers looked to the skies in wonder - what else could go wrong on this fateful day.

Earlier, the bookies revisted the odds when news broke about Big Kev who in an act of fearless selflessness was almost mortally wounded in a heroic domestic knifing incident. Big Kev's first thought was for the big match and the Founding Fathers. On the way to hospital sounded the alarm using bloody and battered fingers to dial the Admin Captain. Commitment.

Where was Hugo we all wondered? What could have been so important?

Divided between Community Duty for the Day Care Centre and Commitment for the Fathers - Conga heard Big Kev's alarm and donned his baggy black in a desperate attempt to prop up the Fathers. Bringing his work to the match with him he diligently beavered on his community assignment yet was there to open the batting and bowling for the Fathers. Dedication.

But where was Hugo?

Result
Brewski's 171 Founding Fathers 97
Noteable Statistics
1. Opening Partnership 23 (Conga 1 and Gladdy 22); Second partnership 23 (Choco 7 and Gilly 16); Third partnership 23 (Rowan 10 Mash 13); Fourth Partnership 28 (Mash 12, Norris 16) - FINE to Norris and Mash for failing to get a partnership of 23.
2. Bowling with a six man field (Conga had to dash after bowling the 1st and 3rd overs - thanks for making the effort Conga) - Conga (0 for 21) Gladdy (2 for 7) Rowan (0 for 26) Mash (2 for 7) Choco (0 for 46) Norris (3 for 12) Gilly (1 for 30)
3. Man of the Match - Norris - but Gladdy should feel hard done by with a match high +/- of 15.
4. Sitter of the Match - Norris off Gilly's bowling - sorry Gilly!
5. Norris benefitted from the Brewski's sitter of the match - a dolly at the back net that ended up going for 5!
6. Rowan on debut looked solid with the bat and ball and his fielding set the standard for the Fathers.
7. Gladdy on a back net solo mission was inspirational and robbed of a couple of runouts.

The good news is...
The Founding Fathers have the Bye next week.
The Irish Club has been nominated as the venue of choice for the Southsiders.
7:30 Start.

Love yous all,
Norris

Letters to the Editor - NEW!

A new season is upon us and thus a new feature section springs forth to the Founding Fathers website.

Due to the large volume of fan mail flooding in to foundingfatherscc@gmail.com the team thought it only right to choose a couple of letters each week to respond to personally.

The first email comes from Edith of Pennant Hills. Edith wants to know:

When is the Snorkmeister going to send us a photo of himself "running with the bulls" wearing nothing but his baggy black?

Good question Edith, we are waiting with bated breath for the first installment of the Snorkmeister Spanish odyssey. We'll post them up as soon as we get them.

The second question comes from Gareth from Rooty Hill. Gareth wants to know:

Has anyone seen Gladdy or Hugo lately??

Wow! Great question Gareth! The FFCC disciplinary committee are currently asking themselves the same question. Stay tuned for further details after the impending hearing.

Fathers canter to win in grading match

Calcutta Express - Thursday 13 September 2007

The Fathers rode the wave of last seasons super-hot form with an emphatic 66 run victory over the 'Albert Einstein Institute'.

Determined to crack A-grade this season the Fathers were never troubled and used the match as an excuse to hit out at the hapless AEI bowling attack.

Highlights included Nads being stumped no less than THREE times in one over and Norro snaring an amazing 7 wickets for -19!

Round 1 Match Stats

Game Time: 9:30pm
Founding Fathers 142
AEI 76
Skins 1
AEI batted first - 76 runs

Founding Fathers Wickets
Gilly 2 for 8
Norris 7 for -19
Itchy 2 for 12
Hugo 0 for 29
Carl 1 for 33
Nads 3 for 10
Subs 8 for 15

Fathers Chasers - achieved the required total in the 7th over.
Opening Partnership (23):
Itchy 3
Carl 20
Steady the Ship Partnership (72):
Subs 72
Premiership Partnership (23):
Gilly 12
Hugio 11
Open up the Shoulders Partnership (25):
Norris 21
Nads (Acting Captain) 4

Tiara - Nads (self anointed - for his three stumpings in one over)
Sitter of the match - none obvious - carryover to next week for a double whammy

Carpark:
Bianca - Legend (cupcakes)
Birthdays:
Itchy (23) and Carl (24)

Other Statistical Data
Memberships Paid:
Nads ($100)
Gilly ($100)
Norris ($100)
Funds carried over from last season ($65)
Shirts - We need new clobber. Matching shirts have to be worn starting Round 6. Dunno if Hugo's company is going to donate shirts.

Encampment - announcement coming soon.

Fathers Season – a (incomplete) retrospective

Editors note: Nads set me straight yesterday. Apparently we played a LOT more games this season. I must have been suffering from 'temporary memory loss'. The retrospective below covers only the part of the season since the website began (about two thirds).

Prior to finals fever hitting the squad a quick glance through the history of this past season shows a season of two distinct halves.

Excluding byes and forfeits the Fathers fronted for eleven games this season. The first five resulted in only one win against the Yallops. The second six games exemplified the character intrinsic to the squad with the team managing a massive five wins from six games.

The only team to go undefeated at the hands of Fathers this season was the Monaro Screams. They won’t be so lucky next season.

Official memorabilia from the season will be on sale shortly through Legends memorabilia.

Itchy

Founding Fathers stake a claim for A-grade berth

Cricket Chronically AUG 2007

The FOUNDING FATHERS have blitzed the NICC B-Grade top of the table TWO MUGS and extended their streak to five wins in six matches finishing the season only barely out of the finals. After weeks of hammering top sides it seems nothing can stop the in form Founding Fathers.

The top four sides are thanking sweet fate that the Fabulous Fathers are just out of finals contention.

Last Nights Highlights: FF 153 TM 99

1. Conga (3 for none) blasted the stumps on two occasions (not unlike Roy);
2. Conga - 37 runs not out - including two huge 7's and a 5;
3. Conga - Man of the Match and Father of the Week;
4. Gladdy (3 for five), didn't give up any boundaries with the ball and scored no boundaries with the bat with a no fuss 24 not out.
5. Birthday Boy Nads 29 runs with the bat (but batting partner Norris has disputed the official umpire's document in a most serious case of dissention in the usually tight knit Fathers outfit);
6. Captain Hugo (2 for 5) and 23 runs in a demoralising 60 run final partnership with Conga;
7. Gilly 20 not out and Itchy (2 for 14) and 20 runs despite the loss of several (two) wickets (editors note: Itchy also took TWO catches, one of which was a screamer and the two wickets were both bullshit);
8. Norris (2 for 14) proving hard to hit with only 8 wides and no balls in his 16 deliveries;
9. Nad's insistent screamers to the keepers end when "Fats" was heading in that direction;
10. Sitter of the Match - Hard one to judge this week with so many runners up but Captain Hugo annoints himself with the dubious honour. Dropped catches and missed chances were in fashion but the boys in black pulled it together in the final partnership holding them to -6.

The good news is the Fathers now have the opportunity to mop up the bottom of the B-Grade Ladder and take out the consolation premiership. A couple of big wins against Brewskies and Yallops in the coming weeks will mean an all A-Grade pre-season next year at the NICC.

A NICC spokesman advised last night that a hostile take over by the Tradies Club was successfully rebuked. The NICC instead have strategically aligned themselves with the Cash Flush Walmart. This means business as usual next year for the NICC except that box prices will be up 15% and staff wages will be cut down to just below the minimum wage.

The Fathers really let rip in the carpark after the match and there was much rejoicing banter and fun poking and patting on the back and posing for photographs and signing autographs and releasing the book, signing a movie deal, launching the website and listing on the stock exchange. And much, much more. And special thanks to Nadses Missus for the Chocolate Cake! The Fathers APPROVE!!!

See you all next week for another rip snorter against the hapless Brewskies. Don't forget to bring in your STATS Sheets.

Norris.

Next weeks match (FINALS FEVER)

Wednesday 27 August - Fathers vs. Brewskies – 6.50pm

In the 8
1 Conga
2 Kev
3 Gladdy
4 Choco
5 Gilly
6 Mash
7 Hugo – Carryover Captain
8 Norris – beer boy

Rotation policy
9 Nads (catching practice)
10 Itchy (a town called Alice)
11 Snorky (in Thailand 'finding himself')

Injured or malingering - take your pick
Gristle (pre-season training camp)
Inzy (cartilage)
Our Kylie (s-Tuft)

Founding Fathers spark late charge to finals

The Hugo Bugle - Thursday 16 August 2007

With an outside chance of a finals berth the Fathers knew they had to “come to play” against the highly rated slogging machine, Howezat……and play they did!

With Hugo appointed the Caretaker Captain just prior to the coin toss (you need to check the website more often Hugo, your status as Captain was posted for a week.... FINE!- Itchy), a number of critical decisions were needed to go our way. Hugo’s decision to bat turned out to be critical especially considering the probability of showers later in the night.

Brothers in Arms (Chocco and Gilly) were appointed as openers after a superb batting performance last week (forget about the bowling) and the crowd was not disappointed with a sparkling 49 not out (FINE). With both wickets in tact after the full 4 overs, a team tunnel was formed for these champions of the game.

Nads and Norris batted next even though it has been a long time since they had batted together. In fact it's been a long time since anyone has batted with the super sub “Norro”. It's amazing what 8 weeks laying on your arse can do for your cricket ability. The fact that Norro had forgotten how to play was a benefit to the fathers as he came out all guns blazing and put the cricket textbook in the bin. The pair put on a sparkling 46, with Norro unbeaten on 24. After being 2 for 5 after the first 2 overs, the pair put on 41 in the remaining 2 overs of the innings!

Gladdy and Itchy put on a polished 53 for the loss of no wickets, even though there were 16 missed opportunities thanks to the powerful hitting of both. Itchy top scored for the team with a resounding 31 No.

So after 12 overs the fathers had lost a total of 2 wickets a sublime effort, that’s a wicket every 6 overs, simply impressive.

With the Fathers on 148 there was an opportunity to score over 200 and secure the bonus point. However at the Captains instruction Kevin was requested not to embarrass the opposition, but this message appeared to have been taken a bit too far as Kevin ended up with a positive score of 1 out of the innings of 24.

In came Howezat, trying to chase down the impressive total of 172, at approximately 10.8125 runs per over - a very gettable target considering the final four overs of the previous match! Sportsbet had changed the odds on the Fathers from $80 to $1.00001.

The rest is history the Fathers bamboooozeled the opposition with stunning run outs, bowling and catches – the best fielding performance of the century. A number of one handed screamers by Nads at the back of the court were simply sublime. Although all this co-ordinated brilliance was undone when ungraciously when he tried his best to impale all his “Nads” on middle stump whilst attempting a simple run out.

The Fathers went on to win by 72 runs and lost only 5 wickets in total compared with 21 by Howezat (see graph- click on graph for larger version). There have been whispers of A grade next season amongst the Fathers but those dreams were quickly shelved upon reliving the 9 match losing streak earlier during the B grade season. Bring on D grade and Shaw.

Super-Sub Norro was MVP, the Wayne Gretzky of Cricket. His dedication to winning was outstanding it shows his pre-game nets training has paid dividends.

The car park beers flowed, the banter was exceptional and ideas how to get keys for Snorkys farm for the Annual Encampment were discussed.

Post Match Update:

Wickets were the key as any cricket coach would advise.

A request from the ACB has been made to the Fathers for a copy of the match video. The video is apparently to assist the cricket academy in making good cricketers into great cricketers (something the Fathers excel at, well maybe bad cricketers into good drinkers!). The ACB also advised that they have identified Canada as a new country to scout for exceptional talent.

Next weeks match (last match of the regular season)

Wednesday 22 August - Fathers vs. Two Jugs (league leaders) – 9.30pm

In the 8
1 Conga
2 Nads - Birthday beer boy (tough call but there you go...)
3 Gladdy
4 Choco
5 Gilly
6 Itchy
7 Hugo - Captain
8 Norris

Rotation policy

9 Kev (Mum said no)
10 Mash
11 Snorky (in Thailand 'finding himself')

Injured or malingering - take your pick
Gristle (pre-season training camp)
Inzy (cartilage)
Our Kylie (s-Tuft)

Depleted Fathers outfit take it to the wire

Associated Press – Thursday 9 August 2007

Last night a depleted Founding Fathers outfit pulled off what many are calling the ‘game of their lives’. With only six Fathers able to take the field Conga, Gladdy, Itchy, Hugo, Gilly and Chocco were always going to be up against it versus the fourth placed ‘Dodgy Wicket’ (DW).

Despite never having beaten DW the Fathers took to their monumental task with great aplomb. Sent in to bat by a sympathetic DW Captain (Hugo had not yet arrived………FINE) Chocco (24) and Gilly (33) blazed away at the hapless opening bowlers and posted a brilliant 57. Highlights of their innings included Chocco being BOWLED off a double hop ball (FINE).

Next in were Gladdy (30) and Itchy (6). Gutsy batting typified their innings and they trooped off with a respectable 36. Gladdy was solid as always and Itchy had a mini heart attack half-way through but managed to regroup. Conga (26) and Hugo (23) soon followed and so too did the runs with the boys trooping off after smashing an entertaining 49. Conga got cranky and opened up the shoulders which warmed Itchy’s heart in particular.

The last pair were up. DW were undecided, who to choose? Thinking they were terribly clever they chose Itchy and Gladdy to have another dig. DW’s ace in the hole was that they had saved their two best bowlers for last, would it work? Sadly it didn’t. Frustrating the shit out of their two best bowlers and smashing the rabbits was the order of the day and Itchy (22) and Gladdy (6) trooped off with a respectable 28.

The change brought out DW’s openers. They never got a start under a sustained Fathers bowling barrage and were skittled for 10. The Fathers were looking good. The next pair tried to get going and looked to steady the rocky DW ship. Despite their best efforts further bowling brilliance held them to a measly 23.

After two pairs DW were on the rocks with 33 playing 93, the Fathers had a 60 run lead but remained focused. The third pair batted doggedly but lost wickets at crucial times thanks to brilliant bowling and could manage only 21.

The last DW pair strolled on to the NICC ‘Four n Twenty’ paddock looking confident, but why? They needed 116 runs from four overs to win, 29 runs an over to be exact, 3.62 per ball! Itchy was heard to mutter to Chocco, “we’ll have to try pretty hard to lose from here…”. The DW lads liked the cut of Chocco and Gilly’s jib so they requested they have two overs each in the final four.

To put it politely DW went MENTAL with the bat. Poor Chocco and Gilly got smacked in the first three overs of the final four. Hugo and Conga who were fielding on the back net got peppered with a succession of exocet missiles. The Fathers came under heavy fire and took casualties. When the smoke cleared DW had, incredibly, posted 97 runs from just 3 overs.

The Fathers were shaken, the Fathers were rocked, the Fathers were injured, but crucially and in a display of TICKER that will long live in the memory of those present for this momentous game the Fathers were not, and would not, be BOWED.

DW needed just 20 to win the match and seal an historic victory. DW looked confident and had every right to be, after all, this pair had averaged 32.33 per over for the previous three overs.

But they hadn’t taken into account the ‘Gilly factor’. Gilly picked up the ball, he looked poised, he looked confident. Sensing this the Fathers got on their toes and readied themselves for something just a little ‘special’.

What followed was nothing short of remarkable. In a display of cunning, guile and outright trickery that will be talked about for generations Gilly and the remaining FIVE fielding Fathers got inside the heads of the DW firebrand batsmen. Brilliant bowling combined with lightning reflexes in the field for the first delivery eroded their confidence. From this point on DW didn’t stand a chance. The Fathers were whooping, the fathers were jiggling, the Fathers were all over the field like Joe Hockey on a sausage roll and Gilly was tweaking the ball with a confidence rarely seen since Warnie hung up the jock strap. In the end DW could manage only 16 runs from the final over.

The Fathers had won! The six Fathers who took the field left as true heroes of the game. The question now is, with the finals in sight what could an eight man Fathers team be capable of? Stay tuned.

Man of the match: Gilly – best batting with 33 runs, 'best' bowling with 4 for 46 and brilliant at the death. On ya Gilly!

Honorable mention: Inzy - on the injured list but came out of his way to drop by and visit the depleted fathers.

Note to the stats nerds: their last innings is recorded as only 99 and not 113 because the scoreboard (pictured) can't go that high....

Next weeks match – Wednesday 15 August - Fathers vs. Howezat – 8.10pm

In the 8

1 Kev
2 Nads
3 Gladdy
4 Chocco
5 Gilly - beer boy
6 Itchy
7 Hugo - Captain
8 Norris

Rotation policy
9 Conga (laurel resting)
10 Mash (chillin')
11 Snorky (in Thailand 'finding himself')

Injured or malingering - take your pick
Gristle (pre-season training camp)
Inzy (cartilage)
Our Kylie (Tuft luck)